Sooooo this past week was pretty rough. I definitely underestimated how difficult and draining it would be to say good-bye to my friends and family. I was an emotional wreck! You can just ask any one of my roommates lol
Even though I knew I was only going to be gone for 11 months and not forever it still just kept feeling like something was coming to an end. It wasn’t until I was sitting on my flight dripping in sweat from the sprint to the gate (having already missed my first flight) that I was able to process some of the craziness going on within me.
No, the relationships I said good-bye to for a year are not over but I realized that SO many other things within me will be coming to an end…. and how does one prepare or process for that?
“… I will refine them like silver and test them like gold.
They will call on my name and I will answer them;
I will say, ‘They are my people,’
and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”
On Friday I will be boarding another plane but this one is headed towards a fire, a spiritual one of course, and I can feel the heat already. I signed up for this journey because I wanted to be refined but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was not ecstatic for the process to get me there. But I asked for it right?
He sent me searching.
I asked God for more.
He asked me to surrender everything.
I asked God to help me with my selfishness.
He placed me as a team leader to serve 7 amazing individuals
and place their needs before my own.
I asked God to help me with my desire for Him.
He called me to a year of dependence on Him.
No familiar surroundings, new faces,
none of my old tricks that would make life a little easier,
just surrender and obedience.
He answered by leading me to the fire.
And it’s getting hot in here!
Love you all, prayer is needed and appreciated!!
Jolene
