Learning to be a Mary, not a Martha

    Team B.O.L.D. has been here in Trinidad for about two weeks now and God has been teaching me a wonderful but hard lesson. The first week here couldn’t have been any more different then the second week. Therefore, let me give you a run down of what each week looked like for me in Trinidad.

 

Week #1:

 

    Before we arrived, I told one of our leaders that I could speak a decent amount of Spanish. Because of this our team was able to leave Palenque and go to a small village to do ministry work, otherwise we would have stayed in Palenque. We were all excited about this opportunity. The fun began the moment we left Palenque.

 

    Our transportation to Trinidad was an older model minivan, which had completely worn out suspension. There was the six of us with our large packs, the driver, our ministry contact (neither of which spoke English), and a guitar. It was definitely a site from Beverly Hillbillies with packs strapped to the roof, packs in the dash and on laps, people having to sit on the floor and no A/C in the hot and humid environment. The drive was supposed to be about two hours but it took us much longer due to the fact that the tires were rubbing the inside of the wheel wells, we bottomed out on every little bump, and grinded the underside on each speed bump.

 

    Believe it or not, we finally arrived in a small town in Mexico where no one spoke English; therefore, the pressure was on. I immediately began to feel like I had to please everyone and didn’t want to disappoint or say no to anyone, whether in English or Spanish. We went to church each night for a service, and not wanting to let Senora Adelina, the pastor, down I would stress all day trying to figure what to do that night at service and I would try to write things I could talk about in Spanish. We would do some of the things we had planned and they went great, but she always seemed to ask if there was anything more. And you should know that they don’t really show you approval after your done, so I would stand up and try to do more to meet their expectations.

 

    Since I was our translator, I would be in this game of pickle where I have everyone staring at me wondering what we were going to do, wondering what was being said, and wondering if that was all we had. It was definitely a tough position to be in and it was taking a toll on me. I was feeling very drained mentally and spiritually. Each morning I woke up trying to think of things to do that day for service. I even at some points hoped that the service would be cancelled for the night. All in all, I was struggling to stay afloat in a choppy sea of Spanish.

 

Week #2

 

    I could finally fill my lungs with a breath of fresh air. I felt a lot of pressure lift off of my shoulders and began to feel a little freer. It was definitely a welcomed feeling that I was missing since Palenque. From then on, we let God be in charge of our services. We decided not to try and meet expectations that we didn’t even know. We began to focus on preparing the team for the yearlong journey. I began to be re-filled in the spirit and I wasn’t frustrated the moment I woke up each day. We began to just go with the flow and allow God to direct us. I could enjoy the time I spent with the kids each day a lot more than before. The days were going by quicker and I didn’t get the same uneasy feeling when I walked into the church for service each day. It was a complete 180 from the previous week. Now, the million dollar question; what happened?

 

    I brought it back to God. We were having a team meeting one morning, and as usual we were trying to brainstorm ideas of what we could do that evening for the service. I began to feel more pressure and it was finally too much. I spoke out and told the group I needed to go out alone and spend some time talking to God. I had been trying to make everything work out over the week that I didn’t even have time to spend alone with God. I told the group that I needed another “surrender walk.”

 

    We did a “surrender walk” at training camp and this is where we thought of something in our lives that we wanted to surrender at the foot of the cross. We walked alone, not saying a word to anyone for two hours. It was just wilderness, God, and I. I just sat and listened to his voice. I read in his word and began to learn a lot. In those few hours alone with God, I memorized more scripture than I had ever before and I wasn’t even trying to. I felt a strong connection to the Lord and it was overall a wonderful experience.

 

    So on this morning at the end of our first week in Trinidad, I told the team we needed some time alone with the Lord. I had such a great session that day. The Lord reminded me of so many great and important things. God brought me back to some notes of our first day of training here in Mexico. On that day we learned what our focus should be while on the World Race. These are the five focuses and they should be followed in order: 1. Listen to the Lord, 2. Meet a felt need, 3. Build meaningful relationships, 4. Share your faith, 5. Share your faith through debriefs.

 

    I read these things and it was no wonder why the first week here in Trinidad seemed so difficult. The whole time we were trying to figure how to make a difference, how to change the town, and what we could do for the service each day. We weren’t asking and listening to the Lord first and giving our schedule to Him. We were desperately trying to meet a felt need, but couldn’t do it alone. We needed the Lord to accomplish this. 

 

            “Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she             had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving.             And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister had left me to serve alone? Tell her to help me.” But the             Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has                 chosen to good portion which will not be taken away from her.”

   You see, that whole first week I was trying to be a Martha. I was running around like crazy trying to serve and do a good job, but I wasn’t focusing on the Lord. It didn’t take long for me to pour out the Holy Spirit on others, but then it became impossible because I wasn’t being filled back up myself. I was trying to pour out while I was running on empty. God taught me that it is better to sit at the feet of Jesus, the one thing that will always be, then to worry about serving and never get the chance to sit there in the presence of the Lord.