A decision hasI came to a realization the other day about one of the most basic knowledge in human existence. Life functions based on decisions. A decision to live, a decision to die. A decision to forgive and forget or to decide to hold a grudge. A decision on going to college, and what major if we do go, decides our future. A decision to “yes” can be the greatest thing you will ever do.
It was through one of my most important decision in high school that God became the center of my life, reaching in and taking me out of the eternal death row. It was through a decision that I chose to live for the sake of the Gospel and to proclaim His name through all the nations. It was through a decision that I am taking part in an 11-month mission trip as a tiny step of obedience.
What I did not realize was the role of God through the decisions I make. You see, aside from the first decision to follow Christ, I have always thought one decision brings me closer to God, while the other brings chaos. All these came about when deciding between leaving on June with my current squad, or on September with a new one. I made a list. I got caught up in the details. I got caught up in the disadvantages of each. I got distracted. I keep thinking that one of these months is the actual month I’m supposed to leave with, and it will be the best thing ever. While the other will be the worst decision ever.
I got too caught up on I. Too caught up on deciding the option that would be the most beneficial to me. Too caught up on the details, problems that each departure date would bring up. Too caught up on my own insecurities. I was afraid of what each route would bring.
So here is the important part of the epiphany: God will be glorified through it all. He is the God of even something as miniscule as a decision. Whether we choose one way or the other, He will shape us to become more like Him each and every day. Whether we choose to disobey or not, He will keep on beckoning us towards Him and His righteousness. He is more powerful than any problem we can ever imagine. He is more faithful than we will ever be.
So I have decided to “go”. I decided to follow Jesus wherever he will lead me, much like when I first believed. I decided to live my life for Christ, much like when I first decided to live missionally almost three years ago. I decided to go, much like when I first applied for the WorldRace. Whether leaving on June, or September, I know God will be glorified through it all. He will work out all the details, and solve any problems that I will encounter. All I have to do is to be faithful. As one of my previous mentors said, obedience is a one tiny step towards one way or the other.
Here is the conclusion you’ve been waiting for. Probably the reason why you were reading this blog in the first place: when am I leaving?
So my decision is to go with my current squad on the last week of June. I am excited. I am scared, but I am a child of God and God will always be with me and my squad through the thick and thin. I decided to go with my current squad because I have never felt as excited, scared, and unprepared yet ready to go. God just kept reminding me to be faithful. He will solve all the kinks for me to be able to leave with my current squad. He will provide. He will be glorified. It became less about me, and more about Him, His power, His might, His love. He will be glorified. He will use me to spread His good news of love to the ends of the earth.
I want to end this blog with these little gems: I believe that life is a great big adventure, and we are living right in the middle of it. The WorldRace is just another step of obedience that I decided to take to glorify God through my life. The WorldRace will not be easy. It is a huge risk. Then again, if you boil it down to the core, life is inherently risky. I know that during the race, I will face many decisions. Some might be harder to make than others. But I hope that through it all, that I will choose to go and take risk for the sake of the Gospel. After all, as Chrstine Caine says in one of her sermons, “Compassion is not compassion until you go. It’s not compassion until you are interrupted.” I hope that I will decide to always “go” wherever that may be. I hope that I will be able to practice compassion. All I know is that life is never going to be easy, there will be ups and downs, valleys of hopelessness, and mountains of closeness to God, but like many adventures, it will be worth it because God is worth it. He is powerful enough, holy enough, faithful enough to fulfill every aspect of our lives.
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