So I think you can imagine that with all of the preparation that is needed for the World Race, it’s easy to get distracted, and there are a lot of potential footholds for the enemy to use. It’s not difficult for your heart to be led astray. There have been two main areas that have given me trouble when it comes to keeping my heart in the right place, finances and self-focus.
Keeping my heart in the right place concerning finances has been really tough. Obviously I must be faithful to believe that God will provide, not just as far as fundraising but also personally. But where God has truly had to convict me is in my own personal generosity and willingness to tithe. Pretty soon after I committed to go on the World Race I started realizing how difficult it would be to not only raise the money for the World Race but also to earn spending money to take with me on the trip and money to buy the gear that I’m going to need. As I started realizing this the enemy started placing thoughts in my head, thoughts such as “I won’t be able to tithe or be generous during this time, I really have to hold on to every cent I make that I can have enough money to take with me.” And for a little while thoughts like that stuck with me, but God showed me something through a devotional I was reading. The devotional said this,
“The only way to think about our blessings is to view them as means to bless others. And the only way to view ourselves, then, is blessed to bless others. You see, knowing what we do about God and about his intentions for us (Matthew 22:36-39), how could we ever conclude otherwise? How could we ever conclude that we’ve been blessed simply so that we may live in comfort and security and isolation? What kind of story would that be, anyway? No, we must view these blessings as personal invitations into God’s much greater story of blessing other people.”
That really reached my heart. Through that God showed me my foolishness and selfishness. After reading that I came to several realizations. One, I will not be able to reach any financial goals if I am not tithing and being generous with the money God has given me because that shows a lack of faith in God’s provision. Two, I cannot ask others to bless me with generosity if I am not being generous in return. And three, to quote the devotional “What kind of story would that be, anyway?” what a miserable existence to live without loving others in every way that I can especially when that is a major component of the World Race.
As far as “self-focus” goes, it really snuck up on me. Before I knew it I had made the World Race all about me in my heart. “I’m going to have such a great time, I’m going to meet so many people, I’m going to see so many amazing things, I’m going to do so much, I’m going to have so many stories to tell, etc…,” and while all of those things are true that shouldn’t be my focus. Because while God calling me to go on this trip is somewhat about me, it’s not really about me at all. I was convicted and reminded of this when I read a quote by Amy Carmichael that says “We will have all of eternity to celebrate the victories, and only a few hours before sunset in which to win them.” Like I said, my focus should not be on me but rather on who I will be serving. This quote keeps me in check. Whenever I am tempted to make myself the center of this trip I think of it and place myself back in the role of servant. It lights a fire in me because it reminds me that we really don’t have much time before we go, so we should go into the world with all we’ve got so we can spread the Gospel to as many people as we can before our time is up.
“You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure.”
-Psalm 39:5
