Why the Mission Field
I was asked by a close friend “Why I wanted to join the mission field?” I did a horrible thing and answered with the question; “Why not?”
When I was young I grew up in a household with 13 siblings. My parents were extremely devout Catholics. As a good little Catholic boy, I learned everything about the Mass and Church. When I was eight years old, I even shaved my head like a Friar; I called it a priest cut. (I have pictures of me and our priest with the same hair cut.) Why do I tell you this? Because as a young boy I felt like I did all the right things to attain heaven. I absolutely love the Roman Catholic Church, it is where I first learned about Jesus Christ. However, I had a very cryptic view of who God really is. My parents taught me about the God of the Old Testament, the God who taught the Jews through hard and fast consequences.
All through my childhood I was taught that there were direct consequences for our actions. My father always said that “faith without works is dead”. The only thing that we as humans can measure are works (no one can measure faith). So, growing up, we were judged only by our works. I remember hearing the scripture verse that references “by your fruits you shall know them” and always thinking that fruit meant works. I looked at the path to heaven as a scale that was balanced against me, with all my evil actions outweighing the good. The idea was that if I did enough good the scale would tilt in my favor.
At the age of fifteen, my parents converted to extremely traditional Ancient Orthodox Christianity. This was a huge shock to me, everything that I had believed to be truth throughout my entire life had completely changed. I began questioning several things about religion and truth. My father and I got into several debates about life and the future. I endeavored to study the scriptures in pursuit of truth. Instead of life becoming more simple, it became just the opposite. The more I studied, the more complicated life seemed to be. I questioned my father about many issues. I was also going through a time of autonomy, I was just starting to feel like I was old enough to make my own decisions. I can only imagine how hard it was for my father to deal with me. In the end I was kicked out of home at seventeen for not agreeing wholeheartedly with my father.
After leaving home I continued to go to the Catholic Church. However, I never felt at home. People always talked about God being our father, but to me, a father was a person who would kick a boy out on his ear if he didn’t agree completely with him. This is when my doubts about God started to ensue. I questioned whether God even cared for me. I felt that maybe I was destined to go through life alone and try and be as good as I could, and maybe, if I was lucky there was a God that would take me in when I died. I felt that this life was just a crazy test that we have to go through alone. How could a loving God allow me to wonder from farm to farm, working for food and housing at the age of seventeen with no money and only a few friends? My family had completely disowned me. My father forbade me form visiting any of my siblings. For four months I lived on my own or with friends, working as a farmhand. I felt so alone. This was my introduction to the world. I never imagined that it would be so harsh and desolate.
At the end of the summer my grandparents came to Alabama to find me. After meeting with me they encouraged me to move in with them and finish High School. I moved to Maryland in September of 2009. The time that I spent with my Grandparents will always be remembered as the best years of my life. They are Seventh Day Adventist, and probably the most genuine people that I could ever hope to meet. They taught me so much about Christ Jesus and about how because he came into the world we are saved by grace and not works. This sounded too crazy to be true. How could someone wipe the slate clean and just forgive everyone. I had never had anyone love me unconditionally.
My Grandparents showed me how it was done. Over the time I spent at their home I made several mistakes, but they always forgave me, regardless of the offense. I remember totaling my grandfathers car one day on the way back from school, all he said, was that he was glad I was safe. What? How could he not be mad at me? I told him that I would pay him back for it and then I asked him why he didn’t get upset. I will never forget his response “I have been forgiven of sooo much more than you could ever imagine, it’s only right that I forgive you this little offense.” At the time I had no idea that he was speaking of Jesus who forgave him all of his transgressions. (My Grandparents never forced religion on me. When I told them that I didn’t believe that there could be a loving God that would allow all this, they just showed me The God of Love through their lives.) I was absolutely amazed. Many years have passed since I ruined that car, but I will never forget how I felt that day. I thought that it would be a day of regret and ruin, but it was the day that I started to believe in an all loving God again.
I am now 22 years old and have had many more life experiences. God has been faithful in so many ways. Yes, it has been 5 years since I have seen my family. But God has blessed me with so much. I am so thankful for all His blessings; I have an amazing church, an awesome group of friends and a wonderful new family that I love with all my heart.
So, to answer my own question… “Why not?” Well, the reason I feel called to the Mission Field, is because I have been given so much by having The Loving Jesus in my life, why would I not want to share Him with people all over the world? If I can help just a handful of people come to Christ I feel that my joy will be full. James writes “Anyone who will bring one to the truth will save him from death and will cover over a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20) This is my dream; to spread the Love of Jesus to the whole world. I know that my life is unequivocally better for having His Love and I wish that for all men and woman. To Him be Glory and honor through all nations for ever and ever. Amen.
