Yeah man, I’m giving it up. Cold turkey. This trip is not what I expected it to be. It’s been riddled with challenges and hardships and rough travel. I’ve seen the poorest of poor in the world. I’ve encountered begging from the crippled and lame to little children in dirty rags who can barely walk. I didn’t expect all of that. But it’s part of it. I told myself that I would see those things, but I didn’t know what I was telling myself.
I pictured grand adventure, beautiful sights, smiling babies, lots of laughter, tenting under the stars in Nepal, singing in African churches, and strong community. I pictured making new friends all over this big old blue earth and having exponential personal growth.
The World Race is all of these things. Hard and beautiful, good and bad. But the hard stuff teaches you so much. It helps you grow. It makes you stronger. You don’t forget it, and it makes you fight beside Jesus to make this world better. The good stuff teaches you as well. It teaches you to hold your tribe close, it teaches you to give thanks to God, it teaches you how to laugh loudly. The World Race is an incredible opportunity to serve God, His people, and His Kingdom.
God called me on this trip to see and to feel and to struggle and to hurt and to smile and to hold sick kids. He called me on this trip to speak hard truth, to have hard truth spoken to me, and to grant grace and turn the other cheek when I wanted to cuss. He called me on this trip to know Him more intimately. God called me on this trip to serve his Kingdom and his people. In hindsight I can say that this is why I’m here. His call, His mission. To be honest, my heart wasn’t lined up with God’s when I signed up for this trip. I wasn’t walking in a kingdom mindset. But praise be to God I was walking in His path for me.
Before the race, I worked a food service 9 to 5 job, I drove the same streets all the time, I stopped at the same places, shopped at the same stores, made the same people coffee. I had control over my day, ya know, to some degree, but It eventually wore me thin, and I began to hold the idol of adventure very tightly. I then held the idol of The World Race even more tightly once I was accepted to go. I held on to the desire to control it and what it should look like for far too long.
On this trip, God has taught me to relinquish control. I practice a bit of give everyday. I’ve been holding so tight for a lot of years, and my knuckles don’t need to look like chalk. God has taught me throw away assumptions. (because we all know what assuming does). God has taught me to commit my plans to him.
So, my heart is to throw away all assumptions of what the rest of this trip is going to look like. Gods plans are far grander than my expectations. His design is bigger than this mission trip called The World Race that I put on a pedestal for so long.
So I’ll say it again. I’m giving up the World Race. I’m giving up the control I’ve held so tightly to, the expectations I had for what it should look like, and the selfish desire to elevate my personal growth above the growth of the Kingdom of God.
I’m giving up the World Race. But it’s okay, I’m giving it up to God.
