A Tsunami of Doubt

Living on the World Race is like living in a bubble of confinement; a shelter from the things of this world.  World Racer’s thrive in an environment where television is nonexistent, internet is limited to one to two times a week (if at all), and where a McDonald’s sighting sparks more excitement than the discovery of Big Foot’s tracks.  We are unaffected by the ever rising gas prices, oblivious to the latest movie releases, unaware of the score from last night’s game, secluded from the political rants on Fox News or CNN, and strangers to the latest American Idol contestants (my own personal tragedy!)  So last Friday when I had some much needed alone time (which by the way, I’ve seen more leprechauns on this trip than I have personal/alone time), I got on the internet to check out CNN.com.  After reluctantly loading through a faulty timed-out connection, the CNN homepage finally pulled up, littered with images of the very reason why I do NOT miss watching the news:  Disaster strikes. Catastrophe hits.  Tragedy raids….Not again.  How?  Why?  The excitement of my personal me time was quickly replaced with fear, sadness, grief, and doubt.  This couldn’t be happening again.  Why God…why…

During the wee hours of Friday, March 11th, the Japanese Tsunami washed up on the shores of my heart faster than the beaches it so rapidly consumed.  I could hardly believe what I was witnessing.  LIVE coverage of the Tsunami engulfing homes, streets, businesses, boats, people, bridges and anything else left in its devastating path of destruction.  “Tsunami warnings stretching from the islands of Hawaii to the California coastline.  Already 300 people killed in one tiny village.  An 8.9 magnitude earthquake, the 5th largest earthquake ever recorded.â€�  It was shocking, unpredictable, and it was overwhelming my heart.  I was getting nauseous just watching the events unfold before me.  It was like a car wreck – I didn’t want to look, but yet I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off of it either.    The computer screen became my own personal means of voyeurism into hell on earth.  I couldn’t watch anymore.  I unplugged the computer, ran downstairs, and secluded myself in the safety of my bed and ipod.  Make it go away…just make it go away.  

The next morning  I awoke hoping to discover that the Tsunami had not reached America, but instead was quickly irritated and annoyed to learn my name was picked from a hat to preach at church that Saturday evening.  Preach?  How could I possibly preach at a time like this?  Sure, I’ll go in and tell a group of Hungarians and Romanians how much God loves them when the very same God I‘m preaching about allowed a Tsunami to ravage the nation of Japan.  When the very same God continues to leave fingerprints of obliteration worldwide through life altering events like Hurricane Rita, Hurricane Katrina, the earthquakes in Haiti, Chile, and New Zealand, and lest we forget about the Tsunami that wreaked havoc in the Indian Ocean murdering over 275,000 people?!  Yeah, I’ll go in and preach about THAT God, because THAT God is the God that right now I’m furious with. The same God that I really don’t care to talk to, and the same God that I question how He could possibly proclaim “loveâ€� for his children and yet watch them suffer endlessly here on earth.  

In times of suffering, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has questions, doubts, frustrations, and even anger towards God.  Even David cries out for God not to hide his face from him.  Sometimes I feel that in the darkest times of my life (or even in the world for that matter…remember 9/11?), when I don’t understand what God is trying to do, I just cry out “Lord, answer me!  Stop hiding your face from your son!â€�  As I began preparing my message for church, I felt led to speak from my heart.  I couldn’t possibly go in and profess how good God was when I myself, was beginning to have doubts.  My thoughts about the Tsunami, views about suffering, and doubts that festered deep within my soul had to be revealed; they had to be told.  

Throughout the day, I researched, prayed, talked to God, doubted, grumbled a bit, and even came to my knees a couple of times.  After spending an entire day with the Lord, below is the message I received that has not only helped me cope with the Tsunami, but all storms in my life…

Who am I to question God?  Wow, God quickly and humbly brought me to my knees when He pointed out the scripture from Romans 9:20-21, “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God?  Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why do you make me like this?’ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some potter for noble purposes and some for common use?â€�  God is GOD, the creator and sustainer of the universe!  Who am I, but a mere mortal, to question how he rules his creation. 

God’s Creation was Naturally Good.  When you look back in the first book of the Bible (Genesis), you’ll discover that God’s plan for this world was perfect, awesome, the best we could ever imagine! “And God created ______, and saw that it was GOOD.â€�  God’s creations were so GOOD!  The world was GOOD!  No hurt, no pain, no suffering, no tsunamis, or earthquakes.  So what happened – man happened, that’s what.  When the fall of man occurred  in the Garden, God said, “Cursed is the ground because of you.â€� (Gen 3:17)  Our sinful nature brought an imperfect element to a once perfect world.  God didn’t mess up the world, we did. And man continues to make a mess out of things to this very day, perverting God’s once beautiful, holy, and GOOD creation and making it His own.  God’s creation was good, because God is good.  You and I have made quite a mess of things in this world, haven’t we? 

Quit Using God as a Scapegoat.  Everyone sees suffering in our world, yet most people refuse to do anything about it.  When the images of starving orphans in Africa or the poor and homeless are portrayed on late night infomercials, we think, “Wow God, why do you allow your children to suffer?â€�  I once asked this question to God and got a surprising answer in return.  God said, “John, why do YOU allow this suffering?  I’ve equipped you with talents and gifts, I’ve blessed you beyond your means, yet you do nothing.â€�  Ouch.  Painful, yet so true.  Yes, we are all God’s children, but those who are suffering are also OUR brothers and sisters!  It is our responsibility as the body of Christ to take care of them.  Jesus says, “Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me – you failed to do it to me.â€� (Matthew 25:45, The Message)  When we stumble in our relationship with people, we stumble in our relationship with God. 

It Doesn‘t Help to Worry.  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens:  They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuable you are than birds!  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?â€�  (Luke 12:22-26)  I can’t help it, but I’m a worrier.  What do I worry about?  Everything!  I realized that worry has no place in my heart.  Worry is a product of control, distrust, immature faith, and doubt in our Heavenly Father.  Worry is the arch nemesis of faith and will tear your spirit down faster than a gingerbread house left out in the rain. 

Trouble is an Inevitable Part of Life. Jesus said, “There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines.  These are the beginning of birth pains.â€� (Mark 13:8)  In case you’re wondering, and not to scare you, but these natural disasters are signs of the end times. Now that could be in the next day or within the next 500 years, but Jesus said these things MUST happen.  I am to live my life like Jesus is coming back this very minute!  Secondly, Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.â€�  Jesus didn’t say IF you have trouble, or that you MAY have trouble, he said you WILL have trouble.  Through our own personal sin, the sin of others, and the devil roaming about, trouble is inevitable.  “I will fear no evil for my God is with me.â€� 

God Understands Our Suffering.  When I argue with God about suffering, it’s like arguing with a fish about water.  God has suffered far more than we can ever imagine.  He knows it better than we ever could.  “And being found in appearance is a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross!â€� Philippians 2:8.  God loved us so much that He came down to us and was murdered:  arms spread wide, hands and feet pierced with nails of iron, a crown of thorns plunged in his brow, beaten, flogged, and killed.  God knows our suffering.  God sent his only Son, down to the earth, to be murdered on our behalf!  No wonder Psalm 34:18 says “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.â€�  God himself, knows what it’s like to be brokenhearted.  He was there.  He lived it.  God is no stranger to suffering.  

I’m Glad I Can’t Figure God Out.  This may sound strange, but I’m thrilled I don’t understand God.  If I could understand His thoughts, His desires, His ways, then He would be no different than you and I.  The truth is, God is so much beyond my own comprehension that me trying to figure Him out is like a cockroach trying to understand humanity.  I serve a God that is greater than any friend, bigger than any foe, and smarter than any idea that I could ever imagine.  My God is unmovable.  He’s undeniable.  He’s unpredictable.  He’s unforgettable.  My God is unreal!

At the end of the day, the world can attack my heart with all of the tsunamis, earthquakes, famines, sufferings, and troubles of this life, but I will continue to believe wholeheartedly that…