What do you say after eleven months being in thirteen countries around the world, all the cultures, people we’ve seen and touched?
What can you speak to people trying to let them understand what it’s like holding a dying child in your arms knowing fully well there shouldn’t be a reason for it and why I was lucky?
How have I changed and what will people think of me when I get home?
What is my heart telling me as to what God will have for me in the future?
What can you come back home with after seeing poverty like no other, human trafficking that enslaves people, the results of genocides, people giving their lives to massive golden statues, where Communism still have effects and atheism rules, and religion becomes more than relationship and love?
After seeing miracles from God, do I still believe?
What is my response after seeing a world that God has created; Thailand mountains, white water raft the Nile river, volcano in Philippines, crater in Kenya, the mountains and coast of New Zealand, the Serenghetti of Tanzania, the green lands of Ireland, the Carpathean Mountains knowing that your praise to the Lord will never really fully grasp the overall bigness of Him?
What has been the result of your life where you pretty much leave everything and everyone you’ve known; sell almost all your belongings only later to realize they were just stuff, and abandon a lot to live out of a backpack, lose pretty much all individuality to live with seven people 24/7, find the good and bad things about yourself, but see the growth of God in your life, leave it all to find out who you are away from all the titles and things you’ve grown up in?
What do you think about when people you’ve known for a year will soon not be near?
How do you respond to the time you’ve loved on orphans who have parents leave or beat them?
Or how I’ve grown so much in worship that I can’t go home and sing to the Lord the same and treat church like it’s a normal event but should be a serious encounter with a living and loving Father each time and walk away feeling free, like a family, and changed?
How have I changed and have I?
What is my definition of life now?
What will home be like for me?
What is my home?
What is next for me in my life, what ministry opportunities of true worship leadership and missions now?
How can I start something new?
What is THIS movement?
I wish I could say that since this is my last blog “ON” the Race that I could answer these questions, but to be honest our debrief has been crazy and I’ve been so in the moment with meeting these people who love God so much individually that I’ve not found time to even process it yet. I guess I’m glad there’s a plane ride that I can sit down, there will be moments once the squad finally separates that I can think it through, and maybe these are the questions on the plane that I will need to journal. I know I’ve changed and people on the squad have helped me in that, but I can’t tell you accurately right now. So my next blog will be my thoughts, because you may want to know but right now I don’t know.
Our final squad worship was incredible with communion and foot washing;
an example as Jesus got on his knees and washed the dirty feet of his
disciples. Why? Because He LOVED US! And tonight as we had our final
dinner, watched videos, took photos; it kind of just feels surreal. I
mean, isn’t this just a normal debrief and we’ll be going to our next
country tomorrow? No, we’re splitting up for good tomorrow and heading
home, but God is there among us. He’s everywhere and He’s just
But I do know this….this year has been incredible, this squad has been a family, and as we will board on a plane to hear home in thirteen hours we all will have tons of thoughts, emotions, feelings, excitement for home but also a nervousness for what it will look and feel like. The questions we’ll be bombarded with while the problem is that we’re still processing it all and maybe don’t really know what to say yet; we haven’t slowed down. But it’s been a life changing year in our lives. Community; it’s more than living together, but trusting, being vulnerable, allowing people to speak in our life as you for them, and making sure God is the center of it all. This has been a community, and it’s been real love, and through the good moments and hard things we’ve seen that has broken our hearts, we know that God is glorified in it all.
