Our time in Nicaragua is quickly coming to and end. It has been a great month of life and ministry serving the people of Granada and X squad.
Most of the month, I have been helping our teams in various manual labor tasks. I have planted mango trees, moved dirt, dug trenches, and wielded a machete, all on the property the ministry owns, which happens to be at the base of Mombacho volcano.
The scenery is indescribably beautiful. The work has been hard but affective. The heart of our ministry this month, however, has been walking alongside the racers of X squad, encouraging, equipping, and challenging them to a deeper life with Christ.
One thing that has been heavy on my mind this month is the idea that we are always growing. There is nothing more sad or more untrue than the one who thinks they have it all figured out. The Lord has brought me to a place of learning how to serve others fully while keeping healthy boundaries for myself, my marriage, and my relationship with Him. He is teaching me about the practice (not just the theory) of dependency. He is showing me how to love better. This phrase has been on my heart this month: “Love because Love first loved you.”
There are three important elements about growth that help ensure it is always happening. We spend a lot of time talking about growth on the world race. We enter into a lot of space to pursue it. But it is hard and tiring and heavy. If we are not careful, we compartmentalize growth. Like prayer, we make a certain space for it and forget the rest of the time that some things are not beneficial places to visit (as if growth is a vacation resort, a retreat weekend, or a self-help book), but are things that need to be true of our daily lives.
The first is adoration of the Lord. It seems so counter-intuitive to me to focus on loving God first. I want to hold so tight to my pain. I want solutions on my own terms. But trusting in the Lord means seeking His Kingdom first. There is nothing that demands and ushers growth more than worship. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea that growth is not fixing all of the things that are wrong with me. Growth is more complete adoration for the King of Goodness and Glory.
The other thing I am learning about growth is that it does not happen randomly. I put a lot of weight into feelings and inspiration and what seems right. It is a fancy way of saying that things need to make sense to me before I step into them. When I think about growth, I too often think about waiting on a train platform for a train named GROWTH to come by and stop in front of me so that I can get on. But I am the vehicle for growth. And if I want to grow, I need to step into growing. To not just hear the word, but do it. Complacency sneaks in so readily because we do not take ownership of our own growth.
One of my favorite things about the race is that it fosters innovative growth. It is a totally bizarre new way of living. We have racers that are memorizing Scripture, practicing creative prayer, fasting from talking, etc., etc. Growth is always an option. But am I willing to step into it? Not just when I feel like calling forth the compartment of growth, but as a desperate disciple yearning for more of the Creator.
The third thing about growth is that if I truly want to step into it as a constant practice, I have got to learn to be patient with myself! We always want the full fix to come in an hour or less, like we are impatiently waiting for our photos to develop. I think this is why we feel so overwhelmed by growth and why we abandon the pursuit altogether at times. Growth is slow and beautiful, like falling in love. It is a never-ending process because each step is new, each word is new, and it ushers in another opportunity for the next step or the next word. But growth is not about demanding perfection from myself. It is about gracefully stumbling toward the cross.
I wish I could write a blog that explains all that we are doing in this squad and in this country. It is too great to capture. Please keep praying for the Body of Christ and that we would always be walking in growth and that our growth will be defined in our adoration of the Lord.
