There is so much to say about the month we have spent leading X squad.
We started in a tourist town in Jaco, Costa Rica. We served with two teams doing some manual labor on the property, serving a local church through kids’ ministry and a homeless ministry at the park. The teams also spent some time in the red light district of Jaco, a place unabashedly set aside for prostitution. The debrief we had the first night reminded me of why I first came to the race and why I wanted to squad lead.
From there, Ky and I went to the slums of La Carpio with another team and helped them serve their ministry hosts, teach English, and paint. We took a couple days and celebrated our first anniversary.
We ended the month on a remote farm in the jungle, speaking curage and identity into the team there as we slept in a room with bats.
Now, we are in Nicaragua. We just had an incredibly intense and fruitful debrief, where I didn’t have time to eat most meals, checked in with most every individual on the squad, talked with teams, prayed with leadership, dealt with issues, made shouting declarations about myself, and, mostly, didn’t sleep.
As I think about all the things we’ve been through this month, one thought keeps returning to me: do I want kingdom living to be a job or a lifestyle?
When I was sixteen, about half my life ago, I felt called to ministry in a very special, very specific event while building houses in mexico with my youth group. The calling brought me to Colossians three. It talks about living for the Lord: “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him” (verse 17).
I’m realizing more and more that I make Kingdom Living a task, a job, a season, an event, rather than a life. I came out into the world because I want more of a Kingdom perspective over the totality of my life. But the truth is, I forget about God sometimes, I feel a sense of finish when ministry hours officially end, and I only look to see/bring Kingdom when my mind is already set on it.
We have seen God in a surfing town, a remote farm, and a slum. But have I seen God in grocery stores, hostels, and restaraunts? Have I seen the people begging on the streets, the thieves cat-calling my wife, or the strangers sitting across from me now the way that Jesus sees? Why does Kingdom mindset only enter my processing when I have designated something/some place/some one as “ministry”?
It’s not enough. Being a squad leader has challenged me so much. There really isn’t a break from serving the squad; there is always someone who wants to talk or something that needs to be addressed. Can I continue to see people when I’m tired and hungry? Of course, there are healthy boundaries and a need for rest. Jesus did all that too. But my pursuit of rest usually comes out of my emotions and not from my spirit. It is further evidence that I have missed the point.
Please continue to pray for us. Pray for balance as we serve, adore, and rest, all in the name of the Lord. But most of all, pray that in all these things, we would never betray the heart of true disciples, in love with the King.
