This month was manistry month on the World Race. All of the
men from our squad were together at El Shaddai in the mountains of Swaziland.
It was a great blessing to be with the guys and to have a space to pour into
each other as men.
During the month, squadmate Justin and I decided that we
would take a week and a half and fast for the other guys on our squad. Each day
we would fast from something different (i.e. food, talking, sight) for one of
the guys (i.e. Michael, Jan, Steven). The fasts helped put some practicality and
focus to caring for the men. And it allowed Justin and I the blessing of living
outside of ourselves, thinking and praying for others and the Christ in our
community. We spent each day praying for each man, his dreams and future, his
past and present, and for lots more of Jesus in his life. In addition, we
stumbled upon some self-revelations. Here are some thoughts from the latter category:
Day One: Fasting From Humor (for Michael). The terrible
thing about being funny is that I am good at it. But if life is about balance,
there is a time for humor and a time for other things. Our culture has
emphasized humor and made us afraid of not being funny. To step out of that is
freeing and enlightening, if only for a day. Also, I am trying to curse less,
and realized on this day that most of my cursing is used for the sake of humor.
Day Two: Fasting from Food (for Steve). The original. Not
eating is, for some reason, a really great way to focus in on the Spirit and
awaken the spiritual senses within us. And, it is actually astonishing how much
thought and time we put into the process of eating each day. With that
dismissed, we are prepared for more space for contemplating deeper things.
Day Three: Fasting from Inside (for Jan). This one was a lot
of fun. Justin and I did not step indoors for 24 hours. We slept outside in our
tents (with no rain cover, looking up at the moon and the stars). I fell asleep
under a blanket of stars and woke up to a beautiful roll of cumulous clouds.
The day in nature was a beautiful chance to worship the purity of creation. It
was extremely hot that day and pooping outside was more fun than it initial
sounded (we went far down the mountain when that nature called). We also had to
rely on others that day to bring us meals. The guys were great and even had
dinner outside, overlooking the sunset, with us, to help honor our fast and
still invite us into community.
Day Four: Fasting from Speaking Death (for Daniel). I hate
the idea that speaking life means saying what we want all the time. Speaking
life means speaking truth good, bad, and ugly – in a way that cares deeply
for all who hear, and is done in adoration and worship of He who is Life. We
tried to be positive and genuine all day, with special attention to building
others up in the name of Jesus.
Day Five: Fasting from Questions (for Eric). Oh my goodness!
This one was the hardest fast of all. By far! I messed up so much. It shocked
me how hard it was to carry conversation without asking questions. I appreciate
the inquisitive nature of humanity more than I ever imagined. In some ways, we
dont really need to know all we beg to know and, in some ways, it is awesome
how much we need each other for sharing and information.
Day Six: Fasting from Being First (for Jeff). I loved this
fast because it is a hard one for people to notice. It was cool to be mindful
all day, in every situation, of letting people go before me. Sometimes it meant
dying to my agenda and being patient. The verses in Scripture about the first
becoming last came very alive to me this day.
Day Seven: Fasting from sight (for Thomas). As you can
imagine, this was difficult. We did this one on a Sunday. We went to church and
then had the rest of the day off from ministry. I woke up in the morning and
put on a (very effective) blindfold. I felt totally helpless all day. I needed
help getting everywhere. And eating was extremely hard. But this day brought
the two best moments of the experience: the first was at church, being swarmed
by kids who did not understand what we were doing. At one point I had four sets
of hands holding mine as I sat in the pews. Not knowing which kids it was, I
felt love and joy from their tiny fingers. The second is that we heard about a
lot of spiritual warfare, and it seemed to be centered around a certain house
by where we stayed. Blindfolded and alone, I spent the night in that house,
showing the darkness that we were not afraid of it.
Day Eight: Fasting from sleep (for Kyle). Staying up all
night is not that hard for me. I used the extra time to pray and meditate for,
not only Kyle, but all of the guys. I also had some great conversations with a
couple of the guys who stayed up late.
Day Nine: Fasting from talking (for Nick). Being quiet all
day is not super easy, but it is super cool. The hard thing about not talking
is when someone asks a question to the group that I knew the answer to I
think it highlighted how proud I can be and how desperately I want to show off
what I do know to impress others. It is also very interesting to focus in on
really listening to others, as opposed to trying to think of what to say next.
Day Ten: Fasting from Silence (for Justin). On the last day,
we could not be quiet. We had music playing or were talking all day. Sometimes,
especially for me, silence is not spiritual but laziness. This was a day of
remembering that the lord is present and always speaking.
I feel as though I should note that the fast did not
represent anything about the man for that day, or maybe they did. I dont know,
we just prayed and these were the ideas and associations given. Also, we messed
up a bunch, but our hearts were in the right place, trying to honor these
sacrifices for the sake of our brothers and our King.
