Is this creating life? Does this make any difference in eternity?
I’m beginning to understand that’s why I’m here at G42 – to tie off the answer to that question of “How do I create life.” When I entered the World Race, I’d given up on trying to live a life for my own. Nine years before, I’d entered Michigan Tech University as a freshman surrounded by so many people fresh with optimism from high school. Almost everyone was excited about their future potential as an engineer, scientist, or computer programmer. But for me and for many, the excitement died and reality hit … when we’re in it all to make money, when we’re driven by fear of failure or fear of not being successful in getting it all for ourselves, we someday, somewhere wonder why even try anymore. What’s the point? There is no eternal lasting significance in meeting the requirements of success so I can die having met all of societies goals for me. I walked away from Michigan Tech having almost completed a degree yet burned because I was in it all for myself and being successful; my identity was wrapped up in defining myself through meeting my potential according to a system that often rewarded selfishness as success. Yet God has created a purpose in each of us to give away; he created us with desires that require us to risk greatly and go where no one has ever gone before. And when we don’t fulfill the potential He has created us for, we will feel abused and burned out. And even more – the world misses out on an essential piece of life that it desperately needs!
The year I lived in Montana before leaving for the World Race, I worked getting aircraft ready for Delta Airlines in Bozeman. And it was one of the most amazing jobs I’ve had in my life. My heart came alive with a dream that I’d long had – to work with aircraft. I began flight school and found that I was actually very good at flying, and I loved it! Never before in my life had I found something that I could do so well and loved at the same time! But that desire required alot of me. I had to bike 12 miles into work each morning, often through frost or snow and sometimes through subzero temperatures at 3:30 in the morning. I would come home after work, and I was often too tired to eat and I’d just fall asleep until late at night when I’d get up and eat and then fall asleep again. But I did that job because I loved it, and I began to love the imperfect people that I worked with. I could be real around them, share my hurts, listen to theirs, and share Jesus with them. I learned that I didn’t have to hide myself, I learned that I could be comfortable being just me. One weekend, though, I sat in a coffee shop, probably with the sun gleaming in and the snow-capped Bridger Mountains visible in the background and I wondered if it would be much easier just to get an hourly job here, a half-mile away from my house. There’d be no more cold, no more waking up early in the morning, no more worries about getting a flat tire riding on the freeway to work. And eventually I did give that job at the airport to try a much higher paying job in Houston, TX for a month. But I’ve always regretted the people I left and the ability to de-ice airplanes, plan loads, push-back aircraft, and just have the incredible opportunity to just touch those aircraft every morning while watching the sun rise above the mountains because I got up early enough to see it. I loved just being alone with God in the morning while drinking my cup of coffee, inspecting and servicing aircraft even when it was cold enough for water to almost instantly freeze as we filled airplanes with fresh water for the first flight out. And I loved the friendships that I made and the people I worked with. I’m realizing now that through my work ethic, through me just being me and sharing the desires of my heart with these people while listening through their hurts day after day after day that I was creating life; I was a light in the darkness.
I think the difference is in our attitude, the difference between whether we take and create death or give away and create life. I experience death when I’m in it all for me. Yet God has given each of us so much to give away. Do I work to serve myself? Or do I work to serve others and to give every bit of life away that God has given me? It’s a tough reality to receive, one that we must renew our mind to accept; that reality requires us to change the way we live life. But it’s the reality that God speaks of over and over in the Bible. And the only reality that means anything to eternity. We need to be who we are, we need to follow the longings and desires that God has placed upon our hearts even if that pursuit doesn’t measure up to the worlds vision of success. Am I an engineer because I can make lots of money? Or am I can engineer because I love designing even if I make just enough money to support my family. And when we are living out our dreams and desires, if we’re willing to sacrifice comfort and willing to risk failing pursuing what’s at the core of our heart, I think we can be far more of a light into the darkness than if we’re just in it for ourselves.
