Right now I am sitting at the airport in Atlanta, Georgia waiting to fly to Peru. I can’t even begin to explain the emotions that are going through me. Basically, I’m all over the place.
Let me back up a bit. I have been SO excited about this trip. I haven’t been scared or nervous or apprehensive…at all. …Until I was telling my parents bye at the airport. As I hugged my mom and dad and SOBBED (while the guy checking in my luggage awkwardly watched) I started to doubt every single thing about this trip. I began to wonder if I was making the right decision to go. Staying home would be so much easier. Comfort was telling me to say “never mind” and get back in the car and go home. I was struggling to see what God had for me and why I was all the sudden feeling so apprehensive about it all.
I held back tears all the way to Atlanta and felt pretty uneasy and sad the whole time at Launch. Last night as we began to worship, we sang “No Longer Slaves”. The very first words in the song are “I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God.” I couldn’t even sing the words because I had such a large lump in my throat. I began to realize that I was allowing fear of the unknown to rule my emotions and my outlook on my race. This seems to be a re-occuring struggle for me. The Lord began to speak to me that I can’t live my life in fear of the unknown. Because I am a child of God, I don’t have to have any fear. I can trust that my God will keep me in the palm of His hand. So, I say YES. To everything God has for me for the next 11 months. I can’t wait to see how He is going to work and rock my world. He has called me to this for a really long time. I can’t turn back now.
I need to give a quick shout out to my parents. I am the baby of the family and although I am 27 years old and super independent, I am very much still treated like the baby. I was FOR SURE my parents would lose their crap when I told them I applied to go on the race. To my surprise, they were probably the most supportive out of anyone. They have reassured me in my doubt, encouraged me not to give up and basically just trust that the Father will take care of me. I love them. Side note: I made my entire family try on my pack and it was hilarious.
So, all in all, I am so sad to leave. My family and friends are so important to me and I can’t imagine not seeing them and not snuggling my nieces and nephews for almost a year. BUT I know that by saying yes to the Lord and opening my heart to this new adventure, He is going to use me and grow me more than I could ever dream. I’m ready to be a part of spreading the Kingdom to the ends of the earth!
Oh, AND, there was a Pei Wei in the Atlanta airport. If you don’t believe that the Father sees our needs and comforts us, that’s my proof right there! Ha!
Peace out, USA. I will see y’all in 11 months!
