Here is the latest blog entry from my new web page:
http://newlifehome.wordpress.com
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Thank you for being a part of the journey last year that introduced me to what God would have me do next. If you subscribe to this and I haven’t been able to personally tell you what God is doing, please contact me at [email protected]. I would love to chat. Also, please don’t forget to subscribe to the new blog at the above website link. If you have stumbled upon this blog for the first time, please visit my new blog. You won’t want to miss what God is doing in the loves of young men in need of redemption in the Philippines.
Here is my latest blog:
I woke up this morning smiling. I was greeted by the crowing of a rooster, an assortment of alarms and horns, words being spoken in a different language, and a street market business outside my window. But as I rolled over to try to go back to sleep, memories of last year came flooding back. And however inconvenient these sounds are early in the morning, they are quite endearing to me now. So, I just laid there and smiled.
I set out for the day with my hair wet and my flip flops and “missionary” skirt on. After being home for 5 months, I was concerned about how foreign culture would fit again. The conveniences and abundance of America were nice. But I have to admit that the sounds and the smells and the wardrobe, although less convenient than America, fit too. It was good to realize that both could feel like home.
Tomorrow I head out to Malaybalay and I could not be more excited to see the boys that have been on my heart since April 2010. It is hard to believe that this journey with them has been less than a year. I feel like I have known them my whole life. Maybe it is because when you love something so deeply it is hard to think of life without them.
I will admit though that there were times on my flight here that my chest felt tight and I wondered, “What am I doing?” I dozed in and out of sleep, watched a few movies, and then finally picked up a book I had bought for the journey, Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning. I’m glad I did because it helped calm the knots in my stomach. In the forward of the book, Richard Foster describes trust as a familiar Saturday morning routine in his home. He would get up early and make pancakes for breakfast for his kids. He continued to describe that he never saw his kids stuff pancakes in their pockets or ask about the price of eggs or his ability to secure enough milk for tomorrow. As far as his kids were concerned there was an endless supply of pancakes. They lived in trust.
Manning further explains that craving clarity attempts to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father’s active goodness and unrestricted love. I have no idea what is ahead. No idea what God will require of me. The path ahead is unknown but I don’t want fear to destroy my trust in a good God. I love the adjectives that Manning uses, active and unrestricted. Yes, those are brilliant ways to describe God. I want to trust in goodness that is active, involved, intentional. Because it is. Psalm 38:8 says “He will accomplish that wish concerns me.” I want to trust in love that is unrestricted and abundant and unexplainable and gracious and overflowing. Because it is. I John 3:1 describes his love as lavish.
Manning says that “trust is our gift back to God and He finds it so enchanting that Jesus died for love of it.” I want my gift back to God to be trust even in the face of fear. I don’t want to hide pancakes in my pockets.
