Daughter Diaries
Entry # 7
May 28, 2010
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Well, I wore the shirt today. The I (heart) Cambodia t-shirt. The shirt that I said I would never wear. I wore it. And I loved it.
And I just realized tonight the magnitude of it. I was talking with a friend from another team who just came back into the city from doing ministry in a province all month. He was talking about what God was doing in his life and then he directed the conversation back to me, “Jodi, I saw your latest blog,
I (heart) Cambodia and I was surprised. Maybe I should have more faith in you but I thought that you would just be trying to get through the next couple of months.” His team worked with mine in the Philippines and saw the ministry that captured my heart unfold. He knew I was sad to leave. He knew that I experienced something real and special and it was ripped away when we came to Cambodia. I assured him that he shouldn’t have more faith in me because I didn’t want to like Cambodia.
But I realized as I was talking to my friend about this past month that God’s love is big. It is huge. It doesn’t just stop for one people group or one country. His heart is huge and overflowing with love. What kind of God would we serve who would only allow you to love certain people. Oh, no He is so much bigger than that. The love I experienced for this place and these people doesn’t negate what I experienced last month, it only makes it more grand because God is capable of that kind of love everywhere and in every one of His people. This month actually made my heart bigger, a greater capacity to love. To love like He does. To love His people, His children like He does.
I thought I would hate this month but as we close out the ministry tomorrow I find myself thankful. Thankful to be His daughter. Most days I think I know what is best for me. Most days I go after it with my whole heart. Instead, I should go after my Father with my whole heart. His word says that as a result “all these things will be given to you.” And it happened to me this month. I didn’t want to be here. Everything in me was elsewhere, whether the Philippines or home. But God had me here. And with good reason. I didn’t see the reason until I looked more closely. More closely at Him. And the reason is because there is more for me. I am capable of more. He sees me in a way I can’t see myself. He sees what I am capable of in ways that I wouldn’t dream of. And He calls me to those places.
I watched expectantly for Him. And what I saw was His heart. His heart for me and His heart for people. I have told people all over the world that God loves them. But I don’t think I will ever actually understand the amount of love. I have told many children about that love only to wonder if the overuse of it may have left them desensitized to the magnitude of it. That is a shame. Because when that Love is poured out on you, it almost oozes from your pores. I didn’t want to love this month but I couldn’t help myself. I am His daughter and it is the family business!
