Daughter Diaries
Entry # 5
May 26, 2010
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Today was an amazing day. It did not start out that way though. My journal entry from this morning’s quiet time started out this way, “I woke up in a terrible mood this morning…” I continued with petitioning God to speak to me to get me out of the funk that hung over me like a rain cloud. As I asked, I realized something about that approach. He isn’t this genie that has magic words that will snap me out of the ill feelings. His words certainly have power, great power. But He has spoken to me faithfully and sometimes I let the words soak into my marrow and sometimes I don’t.
It is really my decision what I do with His words to me. Am I like Mary who treasured these things in her heart? Or do I let them roll off of me like water off of a ducks back? And so in my ill mood, would I have wanted to hear I love you? Would I have let those words penetrate deep into my heart and would I operate my day out of them? I don’t know. There have been many times that I haven’t. But this morning, I didn’t give myself the choice. I wanted to spend time with Him because I love Him, not because I want to hear the “magic words” to change my perspective on my day.
So, I worshiped Him. I spoke words to Him. I think Fathers need to hear that sometimes. And I think daughters do too. Because in the process I realized how undeserving I am of His love, of His grace. My journal entry ended this morning like this, “I really don’t deserve the kind of love you give. It gives me breath and purpose, a reason to live. I pray today I can walk in that love and grace because all things flow from that place.”
And flow they did. There were so many things He poured out on me on me today. But perhaps my favorite is our last English class. We have about 25 students that come and learn English from the Americans. They all take English at their university but they are that committed to learning a language that we take for granted and a language that is really hard to teach sometimes! Today we had lunch with the pastor and he said that we could incorporate more of the gospel today. And we did. Colin did a great job explaining our sin, God’s love, and Jesus’ sacrifice. He invited one of the students to share his testimony. Kennedy. Kennedy is an amazing student. He is 19, a student, and also a teacher of the language. Yet he comes to our class to get more practice. We originally didn’t have a 3rd English class until Kennedy made a few phone calls and now we have 25 students. I think he will live up to his name and be a great politician! But his story began when he started coming to church to play the guitar. He didn’t know about God and didn’t really care. But he kept coming every Sunday and he said, “I don’t know when it happened, when I accepted Jesus as my savior, I just know that He changed my life.” I love that. Kennedy didn’t even see it coming. Perhaps none of us do. God’s word doesn’t return void. It certainly didn’t in this young man’s life. And it didn’t in the other numerous students who entered the Kingdom this afternoon.
I still have a skip in my step from all that God did today. He showed off today. And I could have missed it. What if I stayed back? What if I let the cloud stay over me all day? I would have missed the beauty of so many moments today. When Kennedy stated that he wasn’t sure when it happened but Jesus changed His life, I shouted Amen. And I still do, as I close the day. Jesus changed my life. He continues to do so daily with His love and grace. And all things flow from that place!
