Daughter Diaries
Entry # 2
May 23, 2010
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Today is a busy day. It started at 6:30 with a little walk to the coffee shop down the street. But a little walk any where in this city means maneuvering your way through traffic, mainly motor bikes. The best way to cross is to find an opening where there is a car. Stepping out in front of a car in the states would lead to a trip to the hospital. Here it is normal and the best way to get to your destination.
You would think that it is noon with the amount of people that are out and about. But it is a Sunday morning. And it is early. But despite the time, I have a little skip in my step. There are many people that greet me as I walk. I use that term loosely because they mainly just stare. I am used to it at this point. Uganda changed my perspective forever on the color of my skin. But the skip is mostly because I am going to meet with my Father. I haven’t started sweating yet so the days keeps getting better.
It is now 5:00 in the evening and with church and lunch behind me, my feelings about the day have changed. My skip has changed to a bit of a limp. As I open my email to see the responses of my future plans and check my account balance, I am flooded with fears. It is amazing how a few hours can change your perspective. I am reminded by His voice to trust Him and to focus on Him. I am also reminded of what He told me yesterday, to enjoy Him. To hold His hand and enjoy Him and stop trying to figure it all out.
And as I look back through the day, I think I did that.
At church, we had to introduce ourselves. And so I did. “My name is Jodi and I am 32 years old …” And before I could get out what state I was from, there were gasps in the air. Audible gasps, in response to my age. I couldn’t tell if it was because they couldn’t believe I was still standing and didn’t need to sit down at my elderly age or if they didn’t think that I was “that” old. I choose to think it was the latter. I was the oldest one in the room, even the pastor of the mostly university student congregation is 29. Had this happened at the beginning of the race, I might have run out of the room in tears. But these days I am trying to enjoy where God has me. I came to a point in Kenya when I realized just how old I was. For my birthday, my team wrote the things they loved about me on origami birds (I do love birds!) and as I looked at them all spread out, I began to be overwhelmed at the amount of them. I have lived a lot of years.
But for the first time, I saw them as gifts. God has brought me a LONG way in those 32 years. He has given me amazing opportunities and allowed me to experience His transforming grace along the way. Culture may tell me that my life should look different at 32, but I say no. I say, I am right where God wants me, gasps and all.
After lunch, we walked along the river near the Royal Palace where the King lives. Cambodia is a Kingdom. I just think that is fun to say. I didn’t get to meet the king but I did get to talk to a monk. I say that is close enough.
He is 22 and has been a monk for 7 years. I learned through the conversation that becoming a monk allows for a better education. He comes from a remote province in Cambodia that doesn’t have electricity or a school. So becoming a monk has allowed him the chance to go to school. I can appreciate that but at the expense of a relationship with Jesus? But then I think that his only other option would be to stay in his province, work in the fields, and still remain a buddhist. At least with this choice, this young monk can get an education and have an opportunity to run into the likes of me. I love Jesus and I carry Him with me. I have to think that is my Father at work. God is called El Roi, the God who sees. I was reading in John 1 this morning about how Jesus saw Nathaneal coming to him, saw him sitting under the fig tree. He saw Hagar in her despair. He sees me. He sees this monk.
Isaiah 41:10 –
Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will stengthen you, surely I will help you.
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
My Father sees His daughter. And even greater, surely, He will uphold me and help me.
