My best friend died when we were 19 years old. We had been best friends from 3rd grade and on. 11 years of friendship stolen away from me in a split second.
When Becca passed away, I was devastated. Each day was like I was being tormented. I would dream about her all the time and still to this day have dreams. Chasing after her but never quite catching her.
Becca passing away is a huge part of my testimony, however, she isn’t what this blog is about.
When Becca passed away she was dating a guy who seemed to be great. She told me so many things about him. I never thought the first time I would meet my best friends man would be at her funeral…
We met and he was great…then things kind of took a turn for the worst.
I’m not going to get into the details of his unforgivable mistakes. All I can tell you is that after telling my family and close friends what all had happened, they told me that I was completely justified in never speaking to him again.
This happened in 2012, 1 year after Rebecca had passed away.
In 2013 I got a message. It was from him. He said that he was sorry. He said that at the time of his mistakes he didn’t care who he hurt because “the soldier dies, not his angel.”
It was a very sincere apology and I believe he meant it from the bottom of his heart, but I still wanted nothing to do with him. I didn’t respond.
In 2014 he messaged me again. He told me that he was deployed and that when you see death so up close it makes you want to make amends with the people you have done wrong. He asked again for my forgiveness. Again I didn’t respond. I couldn’t.
That brings me to the present day.
Fundraising is hard. I HATE asking people to support me. It’s probably a lot of my pride, but it’s also that I feel like I’m putting someone in a hard spot to support me. Who knows what that $20 meant to them.
I was one of the last people on my squad to be fully funded and to be honest I had hit a road block. I needed $1055 to be fully funded.
My dad even sent out a letter to like 100 people and only 1 responded. I was stuck.
I decided that I was going to get serious in my prayer life about this money. After all it is all Gods to begin with.
While my fundraising battle is going one, for some reason, my best friends boyfriend was on my mind.
I went back and read the messages.
5 years later I could read them without getting angry. I read them over and over. I could fee the Holy Spirit telling me to forgive him. But not to just forgive him from a distance, but to forgive him and tell him.
Many people say that true forgiveness means that you forgive and forget it like it never happened. I completely disagree. I think true forgivness means that you remember everything that was done and CHOOSE to love someone anyways, despite their flaws. To love flawed people and Christ loves a flawed church.
In that moment, everything he did came back to me. With tears in my eyes, I replied to his message…
I said “I forgive you, I hope you’re still seeking the Lord.”
after all these years. Forgivness.
I was surprised by his quick response. He asked what made me think of him. I told him it was nothing but the Lord. There is no way my flesh could have forgiven him, only Jesus within me.
We had a small conversation about where we are in life and left on a very good note. He’s married now and does some mission work in Africa. What an amazing God we have that can save people like us.
After this conversation I thought it was done. A huge weight lifted off of me. I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.
So back to fundraising. That week I had been posting that I was in need of funds to continue on the World Race.
He messaged me.
He said “How much do you need?”
I told him “I don’t want you to feel obligated to give but I need $1055”
He said “Hold on a second”
And a few seconds later I received an email that I just received a donation of $1055.
I couldn’t believe it. I was overjoyed. I began to cry. How could this be. Gods divine plan. Something I could have NEVER foreseen. A plan that only God himself could have orchestrated.
Forgivness isn’t easy…actually, scratch that it’s impossible. It’s impossible for us as humans to forgive one another. Only with Jesus Christ. Only because we ourselves are forgiven.
I hope this has encouraged you in some way and maybe this story will lead you to the freedom of forgivness. I don’t know, but what I do know is that love, agape love, covers all.
I love you my friends and family.
