While being on the World Race, I have heard the word “offend” more times that I would in my normal day to day life in the states. We have been told over and over again that we will be offended, get offended, or be the offender. Offense is hard to deal with, but that is just what we are learning to do this year. I looked up the word offense in the dictionary, it says, “annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles”.
As I sat with one of my fellow friends and sqaudmates at our most recent debrief, her and I got to talking about what the Lord has done in our lives this year. Both of our teams had debriefed and talked about the past month together, struggles, difficulties with the team, strengths, and changes. Her and I discussed what we had each been through the past month and what we were looking forward to in the coming months. We began to talk about feedback on the race and how we hadn't received much constructive from our teams. (feedback is given everyday day on the race either positive or constructive). Sometimes I really hate feedback! I hate giving it and I hate receiving it because it is called out in front of your whole team, and because sometimes it offends. I don't like to be offended as I doubt many people do, but I have been.
When I really begin to look at the WHY part of why I am offended, I notice that it is because the feedback I am receiving is right. I may have hurt, come across rude, said something disrespectful, given a look that said I was displeased, had the wrong tone when I spoke, or maybe throughout differently of how people around me perceived me. We call each other to look more like Christ each time we give feedback to one another. In that feedback, we are never allowed to bring an offense into the words we speak, but we get to challenge one another in our character. It is a truly humbling experience.
The one thing that I want, is to be offended in such a way that it causes me to question each and every time why. . . why is there such offense taken? Often times it is a deeper rooted issue than annoyance. There is usually a heart issue behind it all and that is what we need to get at. I have already been through situations with people that I “don’t like” and it is that way because at some point or another they have offended me and I have not done anything about it. Each of us have the power to do something about it, we have the opportunity to take it to the Lord and ask, “Why does this offend me?” I love it that we have that chance to search our hearts and find the deeper rooted issue. This is where change and growth occur. When we take our offenses to the Lord he will always show us our heart reflection. The heart reflection can be damaged in places and those are the parts that need to be cut out so that they can be made new and healed. Over the past 5 months, I have been offended by feedback or by joking things that people have said, looks people have given, or even by their tone of voice when they say something. Everyone of those I get to take to the Lord and gain wisdom from him on what needs to change in my heart. I am not saying that this process is in any way easy, but I have changed, and my heart posture has changed towards those whom I call my brothers and sisters. am learning everyday to wake up and have grace for those people and to have grace for myself. We are not perfect people. We are living in the closest of communities, but we have the chance to make that community a place of love and growth.
Sometimes I catch myself lost in a moment as I did at debrief. We were all coming into a room preparing for worship and I had a moment where I felt like I was looking around when time stopped. I found myself so in awe, complete awe, that less than a year ago, these people I have become to love as bothers and sisters were just names on a website and faces in a profile picture. I realized that we are becoming a family, a family that is so unique in every way. We argue, say rude comments, laugh & joke, play games, serve, and love each other like families do, but we also have the power and love of Christ flowing through us which makes us even stronger together. Feedback is a wonderful thing and I know that now. So next time we are out, you have the right to offend me. I know how to handle it now and in it I get the change to grow, forgive, give grace, and continue to live my life out of love.
