Resolution to “Taking Responsibility”
Leadership chose to take the humble road and apologize for the broken expectations. Responsibility was taken and restitution was made. The gesture was appreciated but trust had been broken to quite an egregious degree. Action had to accompany the apology if any trust was going to be rebuilt. The laboratory of the second experience ever didn’t facilitate the rebuilding well, but for most parties involved, things improved.
Saving Face
In Asian countries, there is a unique cultural nuance called “saving face.” There is a history of honor and respect being held in the utmost of importance and the culture will trip over themselves to preserve it. The finer points of “saving face” include acting in such a way that a guest or other individual always has the opportunity and option of avoiding embarrassment or humiliation. It is culturally appropriate to be polite and to act in such a way as to never insult another.
In China last year, we had an interesting encounter. Our leader for the week, Steven , had joined our team to introduce us to a community in China and go along as our logistics coordinator and translator. He was fantastic, knew the language and was familiar with the culture.
One evening, he took three of us out to “dinner” down a local back street. It’s not uncommon to stop along the way and sit down for a meal prepared for you. It’s not fine dining by any stretch of the imagination, crude tables and stools and barely sanitary dishes and utensils are offered. You select the items you want with your soup and noodles and serve it family style with the group. It’s different but quite tasty!
It should be a normal practice (especially given that this was the last stop on our year long journey) to always negotiate or establish a price to be paid for a service being provided. For some reason, we forgot this little detail and enjoyed our meal together. The family cooking was jovial and fascinated (like all of the other 1.5 billion people in the country) with foreigners. They laughed as we picked items that would never be eaten together and enjoyed watching us fumble through our chop stick execution.
As we neared the end of the meal, Steven asked how much we owed for the meal. This wasn’t our first dining experience out and we knew our meal was worth about $3 a person, maybe $12 total. The man replied something we could not understand and Steven started laughing uncontrollably as if the man had told a hilarious joke. Body language suggested he was praising the man on his wit and good humor. He asked again and the man, stone-faced and confused, responded again. Steven was sent into another round of hilarious laughter. We asked what was going on and he responded (wiping “tears” from his eyes) that the man expected the equivalent of $60 for our meal. We stared at each other, shocked, before finally realizing what Steven was doing.
The price was obviously a scam, a way to take advantage of the “rich foreigners.” Though we had not negotiated a price, there was clearly something amiss. What Steven was doing was giving the man every opportunity to save face. By laughing, inferring that the man was joking, he not only communicated that he was aware of the egregious overpricing but was also willing to be kind enough to allow him to change his mind in a way that would not embarrass him.
It was sheer brilliance.
And it would have worked if the man had caught on. Sadly, he didn’t and again, asked for the price he had stated.
As Christians in a non-Christian environment, as foreigners, and in an effort to respect the local culture, what do we do?
