This past week I have been reviewing my notes from our time
spent in Manila with our squad and coaches.
One night, Lisa spoke about deliverance. During the message
I thought I was fine. I had thoughts like, “That’s not me. I’ve already been
delivered.” But the more she spoke the more my heart began to break. The Lord
truly gave me deliverance that night and it hit me like a freight train. It
came from a place that was very unexpected to me.
That night I was delivered from guilt, shame and
expectations – both that I had placed on myself and also that had been placed
over me by others. For so long I have been defined by what others had said and
thought of me, by my performance, by my own expectations – NO LONGER. The fight
has been won by the only one brave enough to fight for my soul – my Heavenly
Father!
Now that I’m free of all the guilt and shame I have to learn
what it means to be a daughter of the King. How do I act? How do I think? What
do I think of myself? All of these questions now need to be answered.
Jill is fully redeemed (Isaiah 62:12) and is considered a
daughter of the King. She has been called ‘my loved one’ (Romans 9:25), my
chosen one in whom I delight (Isaiah 42:1). She has a compassionate heart
(Romans 9:14) and is full of grace (Ephesians 2:5). She is a beautiful and
graceful warrior and is entrusted with the secret things of my heart (1
Corinthians 4:1). She is my masterpiece that I dreamed up before time began.
She has the freedom to be fun, silly, gentle and gracious all at the same time
– and I, the Lord, am delighted in her.
This
is a very vulnerable place to be; I felt led to come against guilt and shame
and timidly which have become comfortable for me and to proclaim this over my
life. So this is the same Jill just walking taller and more confidently in who
she was created to be.
