This blog may contain content not appropriate for children.
March 2012
Bangkok, Thailand
The street was crowded, but that was no surprise. It doesn’t matter if it’s a weekend or a random Tuesday like tonight when you’re in one of the main red light districts in Bangkok. Sounds. The low beats of a rap song blaring, laughter and talking, cars driving by. Sights. At first, just the street vendors and people passing. But I will myself to see what I’ve learned over the past couple of weeks to block out: the travelers in the restaurants and bars with eyes that search for the “one” for the night, the women standing at the entrances who are often smiling unless you catch one that has momentarily let down her guard, the children on the streets holding cups begging for change. Feelings. Heartbreak and heaviness. My chest literally feels like it is being pushed down by the weight of what I’m walking into, so much so that I wonder if maybe it is best for me to turn back for the night. But no, I came with a purpose, and where my personal strength is lacking, I know there is Someone Else who will give me all that I need.
Tonight was my night to buy love.
I was strangely nervous as I approached the bar we’ve frequented for the past couple of weeks. What if he isn’t there? What if he is there, but he’s already with someone? Or worse, what if he is there and he just doesn’t want to come with us?
Pre-date jitters, I guess you could say.
But alas, there he is. Standing outside with a huge smile, almost as if he knew we were coming. At first sight, the weight on my chest is instantly lifted, or maybe I just forget about it because I’m so captivated.
Happy welcomes are exchanged, and before I know it he has already accepted our offer to come with us for the night. Enter the only part of the night that I’ve had no experience in when it comes to first dates:
the purchase.
As he went to change out of his uniform, we stood at the bar and paid for our night. In his absence, a new feeling creeped in: disgust in my heart and an inability to understand in my mind.
It was almost eerie, standing where I knew so many stood night after night to pay for their own misguided “dates.” It all became so real in that moment. That Bangkok, and the world for that matter, is littered with places where someone can walk in a complete stranger, browse the “merchandise” with his/her eyes, maybe even get a feel for his/her favorites, and then choose one to rent for the evening to do with what he/she pleases.
And that “one” isn’t some inanimate object.
“It” is a person.
A person with a story, a home, a family.
A person with hopes, dreams, ambitions.
A person with memories.
A person with feelings.
A person with life.
That life walking back toward me at the bar is what snapped me out of my trance of emotions, and I returned to my state of joy as our night began. I think he was slightly surprised to find that we wanted to do whatever he wanted to do, but it didn’t take long for him to take charge, leading us down streets and eventually catching a taxi. Lots of awkward attempts at broken English conversations and the repercussion of laughter followed as we enjoyed the ride to we-had-no-idea-where. We soon found ourselves slightly underdressed (the life of a missionary) at a swanky outdoor restaurant, eating hot bananas in coconut milk and an array of appetizers from Isan with a way-too-spicy-for-me dip. But he loved it, and particularly loved watching us all attempt to eat it, so that made it better than it tasted.
We talked for a while, about his family, about his friends, about what he likes to do, and about the hardships that come with his job. I sat and listened to him explain the requirements placed upon him each month in order to make pay, and how if he doesn’t meet the necessary number of customers, his pay is cut in half. When we asked him how he had learned English, he told us that most of it he picked up from the customers. But I cringed as he expanded upon that and talked about all the names and foul language that they often use with him, recounting ways they’ve treated him in the past with a disturbing reference to “boxing.” And it seemed like every five minutes he made another reference to wanting to be beautiful, to which I wondered who convinced him that he wasn’t?
The night continued with a trip to one of the many streets lined with vendors. We were dodging across the street, trying to find the best deals and cutest clothes, when it happened. He grabbed my arm. This was that magical first date moment for me. The spark that communicated where words sometimes fail. It was then that I realized that he realized that I was more than just another customer. I was trusted. I was safe. I was a friend.
By the end of our night out on the town, my heart was filled with warmth. It’s as if I could hear the chains that have been holding him for so long begin to rattle as they shook with the fear of the Light and the Truth.
But as we gave him money to head home for the night, I felt like I was being doused with ice water when he told us that he was going to go back to the bar. Confusion and disappointment set in as he told us that although we had paid his bar fine and he technically didn’t have to go back, he needed to make more money for his family and meet his quota for the month. My heart broke for this new love of mine.
We kept trying to convince him to go home, take the night off, and get some rest, but he seemed set on returning. So once he left, we ended our date night in prayer. Praying that he would change his mind and head home. Praying that he had gotten a glimpse of Jesus. Praying that he would find freedom from the chains. Praying that in our time spent with him over the month, he was finally starting to understand real love.
Love from his Father that says he is:
worth more than 50 drinks and 30 customers a month,
worth more than 20 bucks a night,
worth more than the words people have used to mock him,
worth more than the way too many people have treated him throughout his life.
Can’t you see?
He is invaluable.
He is treasured.
He is LOVED.
I saw too many horrible situations during my time in the red light districts of Bangkok, but in getting to know some of the workers there, I also saw a lot of hope. There may be darkness, but we know the truth – Light will prevail.
Human trafficking is one of the most heartbreaking and horrendous parts of our world today, but more and more people are rising up to set the captives free. Organizations like Dton Naam, Night Light, Step Ahead, and Rahaab are carrying the love of God into the darkest of places, rescuing the helpless and guiding the lost back to the safe and loving arms of their Father through open hearts, open ears, and friendships. I am so thankful that I got to join them in the battle for a month, and will continue to fight through prayer for all those still stuck in oppression, especially my new friends in Bangkok. I’ll never forget my time loving on the ladyboys of Thailand.
My heart is SOLD.
The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me. He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken, announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners.
–Isaiah 61:1
*UPDATE: A couple of days after writing this blog, we returned back to the bar to visit our friend. We spent a couple of hours hanging out, playing pool, and just talking. My heart lept with joy and we all gave praise to God when he told us that on his way back to the bar that night, he changed his mind and had the taxi take him home. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!! Again I say, Light WILL prevail! Prayers ARE answered! There is HOPE! 🙂
