I am sitting here trying to wrap up the Race and how I am feeling about going home. After a couple of paragraphs I choose “highlight all” and “delete.”
HOW CAN I PUT THIS INTO WORDS?!
I have about 12,392,287 thoughts going through my head right now, and it has been this way for at least the past week. It is so hard to focus. My emotions about the year being over and being home in a week are also all over the place, changing at intervals of about one minute (happy, sad, excited, scared, nervous…you name it and I am sure I have felt it).
I don’t know what going home is going to look like, and I won’t know until I actually get there and experience it. I know that although I cannot wait to see my friends and family, I am going to miss my Race family and even the culture of the World Race. There were so many times I couldn’t wait for this year to be over and even wished my time on the Race away. Now that the end is here my head and my heart are being bombarded by so many emotions.
Going home isn’t going to be as easy as I thought, but I know it is time. I am getting tired. I am ready to be rejuvenated and get poured into by my church community at home. It is like moving into a new house. The Race was my time to do all the hard work, and going home is the fun part of putting things in the right place. Now that all of the heavy lifting and moving is done, it is time to re-arrange.
I know I am being very vague for a blog that is supposed to summarize my journey and wrap everything up, but at this point that is about all I can share with you until I actually begin to process everything for myself.
When I see you in person I will do my best to answer any questions, but as for now I want to let you know that is has been the best and worst year of my life all at the same time. I have had really great experiences and really bad experiences. I have laughed, I have cried and I have laughed until I cried. There were parts I loved and things I’ve despised. Some things I will choose to forget, and some people I will never forget. Coming on the Race was the best decision I have ever made (even though at times I would beg to differ).
The Israelites took 40 days to complete a journey that should have taken them 11 days. I have completed a journey in 11 months that might have taken me 40 years otherwise. I still have a long way to go, but I have come so far.
