Ladies, this blog is for you.
…not because I have it all figured out, but because i want to share some of what God is teaching me…because my heart wants you to know…
because my heart needs to be reminded, too.
So…grab some pj pants, a cup of hot chocolate, your favorite stuffed animal, and come sit with me. 🙂 
Before I left for the race, I really struggled with surrendering to God’s plan.
Undatable for a year? What if I’m interested in a guy? What if a guy’s interested in me?
What if I run off on this adventure, and he chooses someone else?
What if…? What if…?
You get the picture. 🙂 And I’m guessing you can relate.
When I have liked a guy or guys in the past, I have done one of two things…
1. I have scolded and condemned myself for my feelings, my desires, and have told myself he would never pick me. I am stupid for feeling these things. it’s a waste of time to notice him because he would never notice me. I have compared myself to girls I think he’s interested in and have gotten angry at them, while really wanting to be like them.
2. I have thrown all “emotional caution” to the wind. In doing so, I have read into things he says, analyzed every move he makes that has anything to do with me, have imagined and fantasized what life with him would be like, and gotten angry at other girls when I think they are “getting in my way.”
Said guy starts dating, moves away, or I realize I don’t like him after all, and the vicious cycle starts all over.
It’s subtle.
And so damaging.
so, so damaging.
During those couple months before the race, and even now, on days when my heart feels restless and I am ready to swoon at the first sight of a possible Prince Charming, God has been reminding me of some things…
The desires God has given me are good.
It’s ok that I desire to be loved and chosen. It’s ok that I want to be pursued, to feel like I am worth the effort to someone. To know that out of everyone else, a man chose me. God gave me these desires.
These desires are not just about me.
Most of the time, I think that if God has given me desires, and they are good, they should be fulfilled when, where, and how I say. If it’s a good desire, it should be fulfilled now, right?
Wrong. Dead wrong.
Jesus life was perfect and beautiful. The best definition of good there was, is or will be. But He gave it up. He surrendered because He knew God’s plan…God’s bigger picture.
In my demanding that He fulfill my wishes, as good as they may be, I am saying that in this moment, His love is not enough. In this moment, my small, tiny perspective is greater and more important than His.
But in the moments when I’ve surrendered, and told Him he can choose the man, the timing, everything–even the possibility that there is no man for me on this earth, His love has come. His peace has flowed. and it’s always been enough.
Always. Always. Always. Enough.
So, beautiful friend. Here is what I want to say to you.
Don’t condemn yourself for your feelings. Don’t put yourself down so it makes sense that he isn’t pursuing you. Know that God has given you a desire to be loved and chosen and it’s good. Don’t trample it. Surrender it.
Know that you are worthy of a good man. Know that you don’t have to lower your standards or your opinion of yourself to “find someone.” Don’t be conceited about it, but be confident in who you are IN CHRIST.
Respect yourself by guarding your emotions and surrendering to God’s love. Respect the man by allowing him to live without you reading into his actions and his words; by running to God to fill you up instead of him. And honor God by choosing to surrender what He gave you as a gift in the first place.
Wait patiently for God’s plan. but never wait for God’s love. It’s so available. here and now.
Right now.
And if a man never comes?
Give Him that pain. Give Him those desires again. and again. and again.
Allow Him to whisper the truths of who you are in your ear. Let Him chase you with His love. Let Him pursue you and choose you above any other.
I pray, dear friend, that you’ll realize that you’ll be ok.
You will be ok.
‘Cause you’re already dancing with the Greatest Lover of all time.
The fair, new petals must fall, and for no visible reason. No one seems enriched by the stripping. And the first step into the realm of giving is a like surrender, not man-ward, but God-ward, an utter yielding of our best. So long as our idea of surrender is limited to the renouncing of unlawful things, we have never grasped its true meaning. That is not worthy of the name, for no polluted thing can be offered.
The life lost on the cross was not a sinful one. the treasure poured forth there was God-given, God-blessed treasure, lawful and right to be kept; only that there was the life of the world at stake.
-Elisabth Elliot, Passion and Purity–
