I don’t want to choose to be positive right now.
There was a train that left this morning, we could have been on that train had we made a plan. But no … who makes plans on The World Race? It will all work out … that’s our motto. So now we have 3 hours before we can leave to go back from the “big city” to the castle. This is cutting into my get back in my normal surroundings off day. Of course it would.
For anyone who knows me, I am a creature of habit and plans. I want plans to happen the way I expect them to, and I want us to leave on the morning train if that’s what we say we are going to do. Not sleep in until 9am, move slowly, and realize that the next train doesn’t leave until 12:40pm. So frustrating. Why does everyone else like to make my life as inconvenient as possible?
Whew … got that out … gosh, I feel petty with that being my biggest complaint. Pouting because we came into the big city and got food that wasn’t bread and potatoes, got to see 2 movies in the theater yesterday – Hunger Games and The Avengers, got to spend time away from the place where we spend every waking minute this month … what a hard knock life. Seriously, I don’t hate being here, I love being here … but for some reason, I can even make somewhere I love somewhere I strongly dislike because plans changed. How ridiculous is that.
Then God likes to remind me of how childish I act sometimes in my “Oh poor me” way of thinking … my teammate just came in and said “we’re going to McDonalds to eat. Does that sound okay?” … And yes, yes it does sound beyond okay, I really enjoy my times eating at McDonald’s on the Race.
Well, even on Month 10, I have to admit … I still have selfish meltdowns. I’m not sure if that qualifies me to be the best missionary … I don’t really know at all what that meltdown qualifies me to be … an overly controlling 24 year old with a need for some chill out pills? Whatever it was, I’m glad that is not me. Though I act in that silly way sometimes, I’m glad God has called me to so much more and even when I fall short, His grace is there to cover up the ugliness that is my 24 year old temper tantrum about missing the morning train.
