Notes from my journal:
“Yesterday my eyes were opened. I don’t want to leave Thailand.
At church I was looking really nice. I spent extra time getting ready to go out into Bangkok for the day. I had my lipstick on, my make-up, and a really nice shirt with some skinny jeans. I also had my favorite pair of earrings on. I was feeling so fly. But I realized that I couldn’t worship during the service, and I knew vanity was creeping in and taking over. So I asked the LORD to humble me.
Well, it didn’t come until 5 minutes left in the service. I had my eyes closed after taking communion and then I opened them and I saw Bell (one of our hosts) fervently praying for Mo (one of our other hosts.) I was so caught up in self -righteousness and thoughts of “I’m so glad I’m saved” and reflecting on the CROSS only for myself, I forgot about the freedom that comes for others who have been searching for God for so long…Like Mo. She was weeping from a gentle touch from the Holy Spirit and all I could do was weep with her. I wanted peace for her so desperately. Jesus paused my thoughts to show me greater things than myself.
Later on, Mo and I were crying and talking and she was just saying “I don’t know what it is, but all I can do is cry. But a happy, good cry.”
Jesus had moved that day during communion. His spirit went across the earth and impacted the lives of his chosen people. I know He is here in Bangkok and I’m 100% sure that He lives in your city too.
At the end of the moment and conversation, I was just sitting there in awe. Tears streaming down my face, I was a lover of His presence, basking in the freedom that it brings.
Father, thank you for your cross. Thank you for fighting for us daily. I am so grateful for the ways you reveal yourself to us. Lipstick or no lipstick.”
I truly believe that when we take communion it is a time for us to reflect on all that God has done for us. It’s also a time for us to thank him and find a way to move forward in life remembering the weight of our sin and how quickly they were swallowed up in just three days. We can’t go on without His grace. This particular morning, however, my thoughts were more selfish than humble and meek. God works in many amazing ways. Sometimes they are just unrecognizable because of our vanity or pride. I am truly blessed to have a god who sets the table for us and reminds me that I can’t do life without him.
So that’s a wrap!
Things here in Thailand are great. We have about 2 solid weeks of ministry left before we leave for Chaing Mai for PVT and then off to debrief. Thank you all for your support and prayers. I feel them thousands of miles away and they rock. One more thing though;
Mo is going in for surgery soon and she needs a lot of prayer. She is a wonderful woman who works so hard at our ministry. Her love of people is contagious. Please keep her in mind. Pray for strength for her and the doctors as they operate.
With much LOVE,
Jessica
