All these pieces
Broken and scattered
In mercy gathered
Mended and whole
Empty handed
But not forsaken
I’ve been set free
I’ve been set free
You take our failure
You take our weakness
You set Your treasure
In jars of clay
So take this heart, Lord
I’ll be Your vessel
The world to see
Your love in me
james 1:6 “but when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
This is my challenge. So many times during the day I beg God Almighty for things but I don’t have any expectancy in my petitions. I will ask Him things such as…
“So, LORD, when am I going to get to work with the prostitutes and sex slaves like you said?”
“Is it going to be like this for all of Thailand?”
“Please, God, move in my team. I feel so empty.”
“Father, please break every chain and set them free”
“Are you still there?”
Things here in Thailand have been a hurricane. Each and everyday I have to beg God for strength. My ministry is hard because we are teaching English at an after school center for the wealthier kids of Bangkok and all I want to be doing is bar ministry and working with the some 75,000 women who sell their bodies here in Bangkok and in neighboring cities like Phuket and Pattaya.
My heart hurts when I think about all of the nights I spent crying and praying over this issue. The Lord even gave me specific names and faces these past years of slaves that will someday be set free. The World Race was my chance to finally meet them. Three whole months of fighting this injustice?
But where have the days gone?
They are so close but I am so far away; tucked away in a little corner of Bangkok, teaching English to students who seem to not need me.
To say I am broken is quite the understatement………
Take this heart, LORD, I’ll be your vessel
But ya see? People like you and I are the kind of CHOSEN people that Our Father, the captain, loves to use. I am so easily tossed by the HUGE waves of life here on the race. There are days where I feel like I am drowning. But my God has a way of redeeming brokenness. When He sent his perfect son, Jesus, He opened the door for broken vessels to be the pioneers of our faith. The Gospel is not carried by cruise ships and one-of-a-kind liners. It is precious cargo on the decks of broken and torn vessels who doubt if they will even stay afloat…..just like you and I. We are a CHOSEN and redeemed people. A royal priesthood deemed WORTHY by Jesus himself. His scars prove it.
The world to see, your love in me
I know the Lord has me right where I’m at for a reason. His plan is perfect and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. if I have to struggle for a little bit, so be it. The future glory stored up in heaven is worth it. I am excited for this month. I know I will have more questions but this race is no mistake.
So Praise The Lamb from whom all blessings flow. I may still have my doubts, but I know who my God is. And he is eager to use you as well. Don’t be afraid of your mess. He has a gentle and humble heart. Cry out, ask him for help and remember that YOU will change the world no matter how broken you feel.
Side notes:
- Jesus is faithful. I came in contact with someone at my church who works for a ministry called Night Light. They go into the bars and minister to the prostitutes. They also give them jewelry making jobs so they can make a life for themselves beyond prostitution. My team and I are going to tour their ministry on Friday of this week. Please be in prayer for this go the way God chooses. We only have one more full month of ministry here in Bangkok and other things could come up, so just pray that God has his way with this.
- The lyrics above are from the Hillsong Worship song “Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace).”
