Oh how my heart has been hit hard today. See, there is a lady I was in Teen Challenge with that I am almost 100% sure has converted to Muslim. This breaks my heart. All I've been able to do today is pray…ask God for revelation to come to her spirit and the spirit of fear to BREAK off of her life. I don't really know what else to say about this situation other than it got me thinking and please pray.
On the whole "it got me thinking" thing…see I often question my commitment to God. There have been seasons that have come and gone in my life where I've had dreams of being killed for the faith. Many people roll their eyes if I ever talk about it and say that that is not a question I should even consider that the church here in America is far from it. Well, first of all, God has called me to the nations, including America but definately not limited to America. Secondly, who am I to claim to know when the persecution of the American church will be taken to another level. However, there was one person who told me once that typically, if I can make decisions in my dreams that the decisions I make reflect the decisions I would actually make in real life if it were to happen at that moment in time. So, though I question whether or not I would be able to stand, I have chosen to believe that Christ in me would strengthen me and give me all that I need to stand firm in that moment.
So tonight, at church we had a missionary speak from a gospel-forbidden country. The stories, the experience engulfed my being. During the time which he was talking, he discussed a story about "yes" cards and how one time at this church, everyone was challenged to write "yes" saying yes they are willing to go where God sends them and then bring it to the alter. At the end of the night, he challenged us all to pray about going. With this all being said, the Lord really placed a challenge within my spirit. He brought me back to Abraham…go…leave all that you have and go where I will send you. Abraham really had no clue where he was going…he just knew he was supposed to go.
Tonight…I am feeling that weight. Not a bad weight but the another level…another call to "go" when the Lord says go. I'm not to ask questions…I am simply to submit and obey. End of story. I want to be able to hear His voice so clearly that I can just do it. I want to live in such communion with Him that I don't hesitate. I want to live without fear and in complete abandonment to Him. I want to be head over heals in love with my Creator, Redeemer, Father, the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Again…I say, send me…I will go. I'm submitted and committed to the call.
