Tonight as I was resting in my prayer chair, I took a moment to thank the Lord for His peace that had flooded me in that moment.
All day today, I've been thinking about family. I have my natural family that I am beyond thankful for even in the moments when I'm frustrated and stressed to the max, and want to be far from them. Then I have my spiritual family. Just as with my natural family, I have immediate and distant and such is true for my spiritual family. I have one family in particular that I bonded with more than any other. My heart aligned with their vision and my heart was set on that vision. Nothing (so I thought) would pull me away. The Lord had spoken. But then…
See, distractions come in many ways shape and forms. Before I knew it, I was irritated with the head of this family. I was to the point where I doubted him and his heart. And if there is one thing I know about submitting under leadership, it is this…if you cannot fully trust the leader, you shouldn't be following. It's like a person on a jet ski. The person is fully trusting that the driver of the boat is leading in the correct general direction. They have the ability to make minor "corrections" in the midst of it all but generally speaking they have to trust the driver. I believe the same is true with leadership. If you cannot trust them, why are you following or submitting under their vision? I had lost my trust…not only in the driver but also in God.
I pulled the classic "this is God's will for me to _______". Now I sit someplace where I simply wanted to be…questioning if this was the direction the Lord really had for me.
So, the question came to my mind…why…after all of this is there still a restlessness within my being?
God asked me a simple question…"At what point does the heartbeat of a parent no longer soothe their child?" As I thought about it, I decided that it was when the child no longer took the time to rest upon the parents chest and listen to it beat. Then it clicked…I had become too "grown up" for my FATHERS heartbeat. I missed it! All along, I wanted to please Him but had stopped taking the time to rest against His chest.
Their is nothing more that a father wants than for his children to be at peace. This is the same with our FATHER! The scripture in Isaiah 55 comes to mind where it says you will be led out in peace. Well, I know one thing…it's that if my head is not resting against my Father's chest, the chances of their being peace are next to none.
I need to take a minute and refocus. Have I been running from Him or have I been running to Him? Contrary to my opinion regarding this matter up until now, I'm beginning to think I've been running from Him. All along I've known I was supposed to be doing this certain thing…involved with certain people and I got big headed and hard hearted and began to run. It's time to return to my Father's chest…
