As I mentioned in my last blog, I've been in a season of really questioning the whole thing around my calling and the direction my life is headed. So I began reading a new book I got for Christmas (Lady In Waiting) and I only got through chapter 1 before God began dealing with me.
A.W. Tozer says this, "A whole new generation of Christians has come up believing that it is possible to 'accept' Christ without forsaking the world." See, I've questioned many times why is it that I feel such a "desire" to return to the things of this world. Why do I have such a difficult time staying focused and motivated for the Kingdom? I do all the "Christian things" and yet there are days where I simply question if I even love God.
In the first chapter they discuss the woman who broke the jar of expensive perfume over Jesus'. In the biblical days when our Lord walked on this earth, it was tradition that when a woman reached the age for marriage, the family would get an alabaster jar for her. That jar would be filled with "perfume" that would parallel her family's wealth. When a young man would ask to marry her, she would take the alabaster jar and break it at his feet which symbolized honor.
The question posed to me was this, "How do you know if you have broken your alabaster box at the feet of Jesus? Such a decision will be reflected in reckless abandonment to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. When the Lord gives a difficult assignment… you receive His terms without resentment." I have not accepted this task of committing to a year over seas without resentment. My heart has been torn and there have been many days I’m irritated with God.
Now, don't get me wrong...I would love to be able to honestly proclaim that I have broken my alabaster jar at the feet of Jesus, oh how I would truly love to proclaim that very thing! But I had to ask myself truthfully if I had broken the jar or if I had simply cracked it. Could it be that I let enough of it to leak that I got a whiff of the awesomeness of my Lord and Savior enough to cause a deeper desire within my being? Could it be that all my desires to serve Jesus has been a result of a mere crack? I believe the answer to that question is yes…it is a result of a crack.
I have had some incredible opportunities to hear the Lord speak to me. I've had some incredible opportunities to see people healed, and set free from bondages. I've had the incredible opportunity to speak into lives in all different settings with people from all different backgrounds yet…I still hesitate.
Now if that is the result of a mere crack…what will happen when the jar is shattered into a million little pieces? Could it be that the Lord will have the opportunity to make me exactly who I was created to be?
God has graciously brought me in to a season where I have the opportunity to take my alabaster jar and break it at His feet. He has brought me to a season in many different ways. He is giving me this opportunity and I am going to take advantage of it. I'm moving on from a superficial effort toward following Jesus to breaking all that I have at His feet…I am moving on from the old. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of whatever will no longer be allowed to hold me back. As I break this jar, the chains will break.
I'm stepping into this and I refuse to look back. Will you?
