This week has caused me to be speechless.
This week, I "announced" that I was moving back home to spend this time prior to the race with my family. Since I was 16, I have not lived with them, or even in the same state as them. Prior to that, my time with them was speratic as well. Questions have been asked on why, for how long, and what does this look like.
I've answered them all to the best of my ability, but the Lord had me draw a line that was very difficult for me to draw. I am the type of person that tends to self-preserve. I have a tendancy to justify or defend myself. This week, the Lord challenged me to simply let it go. Keep my yes yes and my no, no. I do not have to defend myself and if I do, it could do more damage than good.
This is one of the scriptures that has been impressed upon my heart this week. Ecclesiastes 5:2, "Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few." I was also oh so gently reminded that His ways are not my ways, and His thoughts are not mine.
The Lord has called me to meditate on His word and to draw near to Him in this season. It will be out of this intimacy with Him that things will begin to flow, and life will begin to spring forth.
As for going on the race, I am awe-struck at the mere fact that God is allowing me to do this. What a privlage.
In the mean time, I sit here quietly meditating on Him, and I stand speechless.
My question is this: Will you continue to justify and/or defend yourself or will you trust that God has placed you in the season and will you allow Him to defend you?
