How fifth graders taught me more than I taught them
During January my team and I were serving in Zambia with a local church in Lusaka.
Our time was spent mostly at Destiny School in the Matero community.
The first day we were standing in the Pastor’s office chatting about what our month would look like at the school.
We were given the assignment of being teachers in the classrooms.
The very thing that God asked me to give up in month four in Kosovo He was now placing back in front of me in month five.
This of course led me to many conversations with God about what he was up too that I will explain later.
As we stood there we were informed that the school was in need of teachers and we had come at the right time. Most of us would go into classrooms where there were no teachers at all. (Which is a whole different blog in itself)
I had the privilege of going into the fifth grade classroom where I would assist teacher Jane.
As I walked down the open hallway to meet the students and teacher Jane my heart was pounding.
“Will I know what I’m doing? What is the material like? I hope it’s not too complicated. God what on earth are you up too this month? I hope the kids don’t run over me. Remember Jessica, stand your ground. These are not four and five year olds.”
And then I walked in.
Everyone stared as per usual and I smiled and introduced myself.
Teacher Jane looked relieved to see me.
She is an older woman whose face looked as if life had worn her down.
I could see it in her eyes.
We talked about the class and she gave me my first assignment- teach the science of the heart- and start right now.
Well, the old me would have panicked and if I’m being completely honest I did for a split second, but then God strengthened me and for the first time in my life I taught fifth grade in an African school.
After that first day in fifth grade I grew really excited!!
My heart grew bigger and bigger each day I went into that classroom.
I taught all sorts of things like English lessons on nouns and verbs, Math lessons about expanded notation (which I completely forgot existed), Geography of South Africa, the Bible and the beginning of creation, and more Science on the body and puberty (that was quite the interesting day).
As I taught I began bonding with the students. I learned that some came from homes with grandparents, some were sponsored children who received presents from their sponsors while those who weren’t stood and watched, some were very smart and ahead of the class in only a few short weeks, while others couldn’t even read in grade five.
Can you imagine not being able to read in grade five?
Put yourself in the child’s shoes for a moment.
The teacher is walking around the class.
There are 45 other students besides yourself.
She is calling on others to read and then all of a sudden she calls you!
But you can’t.
You don’t even know how to form letter sounds to structure the word.
And you have to tell her, “I can’t read.”
But you are ashamed so you say it under your breath.
She has to ask again so you have to admit to yourself and your peers you cannot read the words.
Shame begins to take hold of you as you sit back down.
It’s not your fault, but you feel like it is.
So you hang your head because your culture teaches you that you are stupid.
All the while your so called friends are laughing and snickering.
You lose your sense of value.
When the children I called on told me they couldn’t read I was taken back for a moment.
I thought all schools taught children how to read.
But I quickly learned that’s not always the case.
The majority simply get pushed through the grades so they can become someone else’s problem, someone else’s issue to deal with when they fail tests, when they are late, when they need to be disciplined.
God showed me just how desperately these children want to be loved. NEED to be loved.
As I stood in the back of that fifth grade classroom trying not to let them see me cry, God spoke to my breaking heart and told me why He placed this gift back in front of me so quickly.
I am a teacher! He has given me that ability!
There are children all around the world who experience similar things I witnessed in Zambia and they need someone to stand up for them.
They need someone to teach them, someone to pray for them, someone to believe in them even if for a short time.
They simply need a teacher to LOVE them!
And that is what God was calling me to!
To the children who have no hope. To those who have no future. To those who have no one.
They had me and I have God. They experienced love from a teacher and I pray it touched their lives.
Not what I did but what God was doing through me in that small amount of time.
I left a piece of myself at Destiny School.
God broke my heart for those children to remind me what he has called me to do for his kingdom.
I have to answer.
