I wake up feeling like I don’t even want to get out of bed…
Listening to the sound of someone typing on the computer makes me want to scream…
Going to lunch and not even wanting to eat…
Wanting to be alone but surrounded by people all of the time…
Feeling as if I haven’t made a connection with a single person…
Thinking that I don’t have a place or role on this team…
Walking around as if time is dragging on and on…
Seeing other girls and thinking that they are all gorgeous and I look a mess…
When the showers fill up and I have to wait I’d rather not…
Eating one meal and feeling as if I’ve gained 20 lbs…
Going to volleyball and feeling underdressed because I’m the only one is running shorts…
Listening to people snore and wanting to punch them to make them stop…
Icing on the cake… not being able to sleep because of nightmares!
I’m impatient, on edge, stressed, emotional, heavy, but most of all just down right…
ANNOYED!
ANNOYED!
I’ve seriously had enough! I can’t take it anymore! I can’t fight anymore! I’m tired of feeling inadequate! I’m sick of the lies! I don’t want to carry this weight around anymore! I’m done! I want to feel like myself again! Just make it stop!!
Our God is GREATER! Our God is STRONGER!
Thank you for the oppression. Thank you for suffering. Thank you for the lack of control. Thank you for carrying this weight for me. Thank you for your word. Thank you for truth. Thank you God. Thank you Father.
Though this past week has been stressful and had me more annoyed than ever in my life, it’s made me want more! It’s made me want to press into God even more! It’s made me want to fight for my time and relationship with Him! I want to grow more with Him! I want to be surrounded by His presence and run away with Him!
He is mine and I am His!
This morning my team and I woke up at 9 to pray together as a team. Satan is not welcome and has no place here. We prayed that God would shield us from any and all oppression that we’ve been feeling as we walked through this day with Him. We asked that He would work in the hearts of the students here and in ours to talk with them. We asked for the truth and to cast out the lies! We put on His armor (Ephesians 6) so that we are able to stand against the enemy!
(taken at the cathedral in Italy)
This song has really been on my heart lately and I’d like to share it with you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX-d2DZ5qDg
Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
