This year has definitely been the adventure of a lifetime. I have been scared, lonely, homesick, irritated, frustrated, nervous, uncomfortable, sick, and heart broken. But I have also been excited and joyful, I have loved hard and been loved hard in return, I have heard God and seen Him move, I have seen orphans smile and the poor find hope. I have seen lost souls come to Christ, the sick be healed, and God give provisions when there seemed to be no way. I have experienced more this year than I could ever put into words for you. I have slept on the floor the majority of these 11 months. I have been in constant 24/7 community and have only slept in a room alone twice (as in literally just 2 nights) in 11 months and have not once been in a house when no one was home. It has been hard and it has been amazing.
I have had no snacks available except for weird African brands of chips and cookies. I have lived off spinach and bananas for a month. My only consistent source of protein has been peanut butter and often eggs. I have fallen in love with Strawberry crème filled Oreos and I can’t understand why America doesn’t have this deliciousness. I have also fallen in love with lame children in India that I wish I could stuff into my suitcase. My life is not what it was before January 8th. And I am not who I was before January 8th. I have been broken and put back together by the Creator. I have served the poorest of the poor, broke bread with the loneliest of the lonely, and held the most hopeless of the hopeless. I have lived in a city of Thailand where we walked the strip of the red light district there, the sex trafficking capital of the world. And I have also lived in a Kenyan safari wonderland where you can see giraffes on the side of the road and zebras become no big deal. I have ridden on an elephant’s head, swam in tropical waterfalls, viewed gorgeous mountains, fed a monkey, swam in the Indian ocean, and gazed at the most breath taking starry nights you could dream of while miles and miles away from any city lights.
And the best part of all of this is that I got to share every waking (and not awake) minute of it all with 50 of the most awesome people I have ever known. It has been a privilege to share this journey with the guys and ladies of M Squad and I wouldn’t trade a single one of them. Watching each of them grow deeper with the Lord as we have served together is something I will never forget and each one of them has also taught me something this year as well. It is hard to even think of all the stories I could tell you from this year.
It is quite a bit to process, and actually a draining and emotional thing to break down this year, which is what the Lord and I are working on this month as my time on the race comes to an end. So when you ask me, “how was your trip”, don’t be scared if I start crying with all the memories that flood to my mind. The end of this trip and letting go of this lifestyle and community are things very much worth grieving. But nevertheless, please ask me about my trip because these stories are meant to be shared. Don’t think I have lost my mind if I have a panic attack in Wal-Mart. I haven’t had an endless selection at my fingertips in months. Most of my grocery shopping has been done in little house stores and consists of bottled water and chips. The prices will outrage me as I have lived on a budget of $3/day for food all year. I will appreciate the recognition of lines since that seems to only exist in America, but the rushed and self-centered attitude of some people could frustrate me. And just so you know, I may eat Chick fil a everyday for the first week I am home. I may have forgotten how to use a hair dryer, or even a clothes dryer for that matter. A refrigerator and a microwave in one kitchen will definitely take a while to get used to again. I may wear the same outfit for a week straight, or tell you that I would like to have a one on one with you, that I need some feedback, to be free, to step into your identity, or some other race lingo- please don’t be weirded out. Just understand I won’t be the same person you said goodbye to back in January. And I realize that you won’t be the same either. A lot can happen in a year. Many of you have also seen God working in your lives as well. I have friends who will have a new last name when I make it home. New babies have been born. Friends have made big life changes and gone back to school. Others have accepted their call and also moved overseas and some have ended their season serving and returned home. Whatever the case may be, I know I won’t find you all as I left you and that is ok. It is to be expected really. That’s life and I want to hear all about yours just as much as you want to hear about mine. Conversations about my trip may take some probing as there is so much to tell but yet it is hard to explain. So be patient with me and pray for patience for me as I reenter the American culture. Together we can make the reentry transition a success!
