So when I prayed to God to show me more of His love and moreover to let me feel His love in a greater and deeper way, I had no idea how much that could hurt. This process began last month in Nicaragua when I realized it was God opening my heart up to my team mates and filling me with a true love for each of them, making me see them as family that I would do anything for. I continued to pray to have more of God’s love and even requested others to pray into this for me. Well this month God has really answered that prayer. And as my heart has expanded to comprehend more of this love from God, I have felt the growing pains…..
Shortly after we arrived to Honduras my team mate, Beka, got seriously ill with Guillain Barre Syndrome. If you don’t know, this is a debilitating illness in which your own immune system begins to attack your peripheral nervous system which most often spreads to your lungs before it is caught and patients end up on a ventilator. Thankfully, Beka’s case was caught very early and we have watched God do a mighty miracle in her. At this point she should just be starting to walk again with therapy if even that, but instead she is back at the ministry with us and very near 100% normal. This never happens, and it’s been a testimony of God’s healing power to the doctors and everyone we have met here, plus everyone who has prayed and heard this story at home. So of course we were all concerned for her well-being, but the days she spent at the hospital I found myself very distracted and my heart just ached for her having to go through all of this and that she wasn’t with us. At the same time, I was introduced to the love of my life, 2 year old orphaned Alejandro. This kid totally stole my heart the very moment I met him. The first day we visited this ministry I was feeling really lonely, discouraged, tired (we had to get up at 4:30am to make the 3 hour trip to this ministry), and I just did not want to be there. But when I stepped off the bus and met Gracie Murphee, the director of Heart of Christ ministry, and began to hear her heart and see her passion for her ministry, my attitude totally changed over to excitement. I spent that entire day playing with my new buddy and as little Ale led me by the finger across the yard of the ministry and I saw our shadows on the ground and felt the warmth of the sun on my face I was suddenly overwhelmed with the Lord’s presence and felt Him speak to me, “This is me with you, this is how much I love the both of you and I am pouring my love out on you today through this little boy.”
After this I couldn’t wait to get back to the Heart of Christ ministry (look for a blog on the director, Gracie Murphee, soon to come. She is a true Unsung Hero!) I even requested extra days there with the next team. I have asked God why He would give me such love for little Ale and I know He wants me to have just a taste of what true love is by showing me what it is like to love a child unconditionally, knowing that I am going to have to trust the Lord to take care of him. I can’t jump in and rescue him and control his situation like I so often try to do. Likewise, I wasn’t allowed to be in the hospital with Beka constantly and make sure everything was taken care of the way I felt like it should be. And I couldn’t heal her of her illness or even make it better, only the Lord can do that. So I know He is teaching me to love people where they are, how they are, even if I can’t fix anything or change anything in them or for them. God loves me enough to let me see that He is taking care of all these people and He loves them even more than I could ever imagine. He truly is a God of love.
“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” 1 John 4:16
P.S. Read Beka's perspective on her illness and what the Lord has taught her through this experience at www.bekahardy.theworldrace.org I guarantee you her spirit and words will bless you and encourage you. And since I am fully funded for my race, pray about supporting her so she can continue to share her testimony and new gift for praying for healing all around the world! It will be a worthwhile investment, no doubt!
