I was only accepted into the race a few weeks ago and I find myself extremely excited some days and extremely scared on others. I know that God has led to me to this; the people I will be traveling with and those we will be ministering to. On those days when I’m excited I’m thinking that I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me and how he will use me to bring people closer to Him. Then on those days when I am scared I worry about the fact that I am leaving my comfortable life behind for a year where I really have no idea of what will be taking place. Or that I have no idea what is in store for me when I get home. I am afraid because I really have no control over what is in store for me over this journey.
I want God to know that His sacrifice for me meant more than any earthly possessions could be worth. The longer I hold onto “my comfortable life and the things I own” the less God can see my gratefulness to Him and what really matters to me.
I want to be able to seek God with a clear mind. I allow the busyness of life come between me and Him and I want to be able to find peace when I am in His presence. I want to sit in His quietness without being distracted by my thoughts.
I want to relinquish my fear of shame and guilt of the past life I lived. I am not perfect and I have much to forgive. But that is the beauty of God’s grace and that His grace is bigger than my sin. Jesus died for us even as we were sinners. I can say that, but I actually want to live it.
I want to share the gospel of Christ without being scared, ashamed, worrying about what others think or hiding behind a facade of what position I represent in this world.
I want to show God’s love to those who haven’t experienced it before. I want to love as He did.
I want the courage to go wherever God leads me with Christ-like love and compassion for whoever He puts in my path.
I want to realize that unconditional love doesn’t exist in this world and I can only experience unconditional love through Christ.
I want to trust God and that he has my best interests at heart when taking this step of faith.
I want to release my grip and allow Him take control in my life. I want Him to free me of this pain and suffering I am putting myself through because I am afraid to let go of it.
I want to let go and be free.
