Over the past week, I have been going through the process of saying goodbye to all of my family and friends. I have boohoo’d with my dad, had a long embrace with my weeping grandmother, and soaked my boyfriend’s t-shirt with my tears. Sometimes it felt like my heart was breaking. My heart was also hardening against the Lord for taking all of this away from me. He was shattering my perfect little life, comfortable living, and strongest relationships.
I just arrived in Atlanta for four days of training before I fly to Bolivia. Tonight during worship I couldn’t really get into it. I didn’t know if this trip was worth it. I started to praise him for all of my blessings but thought about how they were all being taken away from me now. As soon as these thoughts entered my mind, a verse of a worship song called Open Up The Sky popped into my mind. It says “We don’t want blessings, we want You.“
I realized that God is worth it. His heavenly gifts are worth far more than my earthly blessings. My comfort may be taken away temporarily but His comfort washes over me like a river. I don’t want blessings, I just want to walk with my Lord.
