Well, I’ve been back in America for two weeks and it has been nothing of what I expected. I came home excited about what was next for me and overjoyed to see my friends and family. I had a lot of expectations about coming home and I should have known better. I should have known I would only be disappointed.
I expected to spend a lot of time alone in my house.
Instead, I spent almost every waking hour with people.
I expected to buy a car and drive it to Tulsa.
Instead, I found no car suitable and rode to Tulsa with someone else.
I expected to have a lot of time to rest and process.
Instead, I worked 5-8 hours a day and had a lot of packing to do.
I could keep going with the expectations I had in coming home, but I know and can recognize that while my journey home did not happen the way I wanted it to, it happened the way God wanted it to.
Instead of sitting around my house doing nothing,
I worked and earned $400 towards my car.
Instead of buying a cheap car that may have not even made the drive to Tulsa,
I road tripped with a friend I haven’t seen in 2 years because she was on the race before me.
Instead of spending time alone and probably feeling really lonely,
I never had the chance to sit around dwelling on feelings.
I left Illinois yesterday and moved in with my friends in Tulsa. They are both gone at work and now I realize how lonely and bored I would have felt if I had been sitting at home for the past two weeks. While the silence is nice for a change, it’s almost unsettling. But God has been teaching me about dependency since I arrived home (and throughout the race as well). I can’t be dependent on a car or people to always be around because they won’t be, but I can always count on God who promises to never leave or forsake us.
And I know He’s a faithful kind of guy I can count on.
