Packing
has gone pretty smoothly every time I?ve done it from training camp to my trial
run last week. I?m generally a pretty light packer; I don?t need a whole lot
for trips. Then last night happened and I wondered if I would ever get anything
to fit in my backpack. As I stood on the scale, 49 pounds heavier, I tried the
blame game. I tried blaming it on the fact that all my clothes are bigger and
weigh more because I am bigger and weigh more. I blamed it on the fact that I?m
a woman and I have to figure out how to pack enough pads and tampons until I
can restock. I didn?t want to give up my Frisbee or my jean cut offs. What it
really comes down to is that I like to be prepared (so that I don?t have to rely on anyone) and I packed like it. I
bought vitamins and probiotics. Last minute, I decided on getting a bottle of
Dramamine. I bought more toothbrushes and begrudgingly kept telling my sister no
as she tried to hand me more lotion at Bath and Body Works.
Sitting here
reflecting on all this at the airport with my first delayed flight (but surely
not the last this year), I recognize this:
I have no opportunity to trust God or see
him work when I have everything I need.
I preached on
prayer last week and my concluding statement was pretty similar. We can?t see
God answer prayer if we don?t pray. As someone who desperately needs to grow
her trust in the Lord, I should be taking every opportunity that comes my way.
I just know deep in my heart that trust is going to be a huge part of my Race.
I trust others easily to a certain point, trust myself very little, and God
somewhere in the middle of all that. Life is scary sometimes and I have chosen
to rely on myself solely in the past because that was the only way I knew to
survive. Now, as I approach a whole vat of scary, I can?t do that. I am not
alone. God is before me, behind me, within me, and beside me. Praise the Lord!
