This week has been amazing and so different than a typical week for me. I have stepped out, stepped up, and stepped in to my life this past week. It has been glorious!
For the past few weeks I’ve really been struggling with letting go of a particular person whom I was very close with (See previous blog for more information). I’ve talked to A LOT of people in the last week and a half about it over coffee, across state lines, at work, and over meals. Last Sunday night, I shared what has been going on in my life and how much I was struggling with letting go of this person to a large group of people. It was more than just letting her go though. After a conversation with a friend earlier in the day, I had realized this situation was really more about me and not trusting myself. I received a lot of feedback and was asked a lot of hard questions about why I was so stuck on this. So I went into the week knowing there was a lot of work for me to do and that I had a decision to make. After another conversation on Tuesday, I was challenged to do something to move forward from this and something to stretch me. I decided to call this ex-friend, something I had not tried in the last year. She didn’t answer, but I left a message. I haven’t received a call back, which doesn’t surprise me nor am I expecting one. At this point and actually since Tuesday, I have felt further away from the situation, further away from the pain and hurt, like I’ve taken a step forward.
What I decided on for my stretch was to make two phone calls about fundraising. I hate calling people and I hate asking for money, but something that is very necessary to me making the World Race happen. I made that commitment on Tuesday and made three phone calls today. The first two were phone calls I would call easy because I was calling pastors who I am close with to ask about the church giving money.
So, why is this blog titled The Week of Thanksgiving?
Because God is so good.
I have never been more thankful for hard situations and how God has used them to bless me than I have felt this week. On Tuesday I went to check my WR account and had received a very large donation from a sweet, sweet woman who I had just been thinking about earlier that day. On Wednesday I checked again and another large donation had been made from one of my friend’s parents. I was blown away by the $800 I received in a mere three days from those two people and two others. So God blessed me financially.
On Monday I talked to my therapist from high school about the decision I was trying to make. What I really got from her was that application of the things I’ve learned in the past year is what makes the difference in moving forward. On Tuesday I had lunch with a sweet, close, and dear friend. We really talked about the decision I was making and how maybe this situation is affecting my other relationships. Later that afternoon I had coffee with a man who has watched me face some pretty hard things but someone I’ve never really talked to. He was the one who challenged me to figure out how to take a step forward. It was after that conversation that I finally felt some distance between me and this ex-friend. On Wednesday I had lunch with a woman who could just really relate with what was going on and made me see the impossible expectations I had for myself, that I could let go of this person one time and be done with it, that seeing her would never bother me. That’s a lie. It hurts to lose her, but at this point she’s the one missing out. Anyway, so then on Wednesday afternoon I talked with a friend who’s been out of state for the past two weeks but has really been talking me through this struggle. It just solidified my confidence in what I’m doing and the decision I had made. So God blessed me relationally.
Last Saturday I saw a close friend of mine from high school was being baptized the next day. She never went to church when we were in high school and I was SO happy to see this joyous thing come on my newsfeed. On Sunday I had coffee with a friend who is like an older sister to me. By the end of our conversation, she had offered me her used Macbook for the Race. On Monday night, I ran over two miles, which I have never done in my 2.5 years of running. In fact, I’ve never even run over a mile and a half. Tonight I celebrated my birthday with some friends and then went to my college ministry’s large group worship time. On my way to dinner, God spoke over me “You are my precious, beloved daughter.” When our pastor started speaking about how God calls us His beloved, I was floored. So God blessed my life.
And so this week I am thankful for the work God can do in a week to mend a broken heart and give hope to the hopeless.
