Well every one has wanted to know how I’m doing while on this race so here we go. I’ve been working hard and struggling for something that I don’t even know if it exists. The presence of God has been here in my life the whole time and I didn’t even know that it was. The move from Massachusetts to California was all God, this trip was all God, the fact that I have an amazing family who loves me no matter what I do right or wrong and who is proud of me for everything that I do because I am their daughter, just as I am a daughter in God is all a blessing from my father in Heaven.
The life I lead is a crazy one I never know what is going to happen but I still always feel like a have to prepare for anything and everything even though there was no way that I could ever be prepared. The life that God wanted me to lead kept being pushed aside because of a fear of the unknown, so now I’m on this race and what am I doing? the answer I have no idea. Am I seeking who I am or is God trying to find me and create a new being in him. The strange thing about all of this is that I’ve always believed that people have just given up on me but really they didn’t they just stopped trying to encourage someone that wasn’t accepting the fact that they are beautiful and a blessing to the lives around them. That is the real me and I’m ready to proclaim that over myself. My voice isn’t just something that was passed down from my Grandma it’s a blessing from God. There are no more lies when it comes to this subject and I’m not going to fear writing Blogs because I’m scared that the grammar is horrible.
Diving in to the bible has always been a challenge because I never knew what to read but just today I simply asked God to show me one thing in his word and he opened it to the very first page where it says my name and who presented it to me. At the bottom there is a scripture Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.
So as I end my month in the Philippines I’m filled with a lot of sorrow for many reasons. Austin my team leader is now the new Squad Leader for the whole squad, so our team was broken up, Karen and Jordan went to two different teams. Sarah, Alycia, Ashley and I all joined a new team which has yet to be named with Tanna Burge, Emily Connor and Susie Virzi, Tanna being our new team leader. It was horribly sad breaking up the team and leaving a family that I’ve known and grown with for the past three months but at the same time it’s brought a lot of new trust in God and the knowledge that he has us and will keep us safe through all our trials and triumphs. Everyone keeps saying that they are excited for our new team and that we are going to do amazing things so I guess that it’s meant to be. Another reason for the sadness is leaving the ICM staff and the Orphans that ICM sponsors. It was so easy to fall in Love with the city of Dumaguete and with the people that we worked with. Love is overflowing there and is never going to stop.
Ginosko may be over but the time we all spent together was unforgettable and transforming. That team will forever be in my heart and the family that grew within it was just as powerful as any other blood realated family in the world. I know for a fact that I will forever keep in touch with them and think about them for the rest of my life. Austin thanks for being such a brother to me and the rest of the girls, i’m really proud of you and yours going to lead our Squad amazingly in the coming months. Jordan your so awesome and willing to drop anything to listen to anything I had to say even if it meant listening for a long time, your new team in blessed in so many ways because of you. Karen I love you so much and I’m excited that I can call you sister and friend you are wonderful and full of a passion for God that is mind boggling to me, your new team is incredibly blessed to have you. Sarah, Ashley and Alycia I’m so excited for our new team and that we are together and for the adventures that are awaiting for us in Malaysia and all the other countries.
Ginosko: Training Camp Oct 2009
Forever my Family
As I keep growing in this new season of my life I can’t help but feel blessed for the amazing things that go on in my life everyday. The smiles and the tears as well as the many victories that are won over the devil though so far they have been few on my part they have been great, the changes and growths and comfort’s those were found in God.
Three months down, eight more to go! what is God going to do in those months? The answer is I don’t know but in Talking with God I’ve realized that my Heart is in Africa and that I’m a princess that is worthy of a crown, no more thinking that I’m not worthy of anything or anyone it’s up to God what happens in my life and who I become in Him. HERE WE GO!
LOVe,
Jess
