As I sit here on my bedroom floor, it’s hard for me to believe that I am actually doing this.
I have had a few months to process this reality, and still, it seems more like a dream.
I have been challenged by the responsibility that this calling has brought upon my shoulders.
[Fundraising.]
[Planning.]
[Surrendering.]
[Obeying.]
If I am being honest, sometimes it feels like too much for me to handle.
But I have to remind myself that this is not about me.
This will never be about me.
[It is all about Him.]
[It is about being a child of the King of stars.]
It is about running after him with everything I have. Because in Him I have found my life; my breath; my oxygen.
It is about being completely, wholly, ridiculously, dependant on him alone.
[Without Jesus, this is all pointless.]
Without His love, His promise, His plans, I am doing all of this for nothing.
So how do I respond to the fact that He has anointed me, He has chosen me, and He has called me?
[I die.]
[Surrender everything.]
[Never look back.]
And just keep going.
My friend told me yesterday, “Beauty doesn’t come without pain.”
Pruning is not pleasant. To have something cut from your flesh will never feel good.
But it is in this release of the old that we are finally able to step into the new; into the beautiful children that we were always meant to be.
He is washing all of His children clean. There is no fighting Him.
[We will be flooded by his ocean of love.]
His powerful, unrelenting, all-consuming love.
I am so unprepared. And I don’t know if I ever will be truly ready for this adventure that has been laid at my feet.
[But I will dive into the depths of his grace.]
And I will look to him.
My King.
My Love.
My Everything.
“Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.” [Hebrews 10:22]
