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The sweet isn’t as sweet without the sour-Vanilla Sky


I love love 364 days of the year…the one day I didn’t love love…February 14th.
Every year as Valentines Day approached I would start to feel the sensation of anxiety.

In highschool, you could purchase a carnation for someone and it would be given to them at some point during Valentines day. You always made sure to discuss with friends beforehand that you would exchange carnations. You did NOT want to be empty handed. The entire day all the girls would sit anxiously in class just waiting. The “popular” girls typically had around 10 carnations by 2nd period. My junior year of highschool was a rough one for me (that’s another story)…but I went home that day with zero carnations. This is when I started to hate valentines day.
 
In college I told my boyfriend “I don’t celebrate valentines day…” and made it very clear that if he did anything to recognize the holiday that I would break up with him because it meant that he clearly didn’t respect me. I had made the perfect plan…If I didn’t give anyone the opportunity, then I couldn’t getrt.
Wrong…
maybe I wasn’t getting hurt on the holiday but I certainly wasn’t feeling loved.
 

After college I began dating the person who became my best friend. We had the perfect relationship. It felt as if everyone wanted to be us…we were the life of the party, we helped others, we traveled, we were always laughing. He ignored my requests about Valentines day and did everything he could to make me feel special and loved…the curse was over! All the cheesy things a guy could do…he did.
As much as I tried to fight it, I loved every second of it! He even joined me and my girlfriends out as we celebrated not celebrating Valentines day. Last Valentines day we broke up. I’m not going to get into all the details but basically he disappointed me and things were getting rocky…I guess the curse was back!

This whole week I felt anxiousness as the day approached. Would my hurt from the past come up this Sunday? How could I enjoy the day that caused so much pain for me in the past. Then the song “By your side” by Tenth Avenue North came into my head and I realized that all those times I felt alone…Jesus was with me, crying with me because I didn’t recognize that His love was enough.
My Valentines day was amazing! I spent the afternoon surfing and
praying on the beach. I went to an amazing church service and was so
grateful that God loved us so much. God taught me an important lesson
on loving others to experience love…so I did a task that would make
others feel great…and by putting others before myself I felt so
loved! I also had an amazing talk with my friend Kendall and we
discussed being romanced by God, and having God be enough. Then the
boys baked the girls cake and we all had a dance party…

 

Today, I want you to write two letters. One letter to someone that may have broken your heart at some point. Whether it is a family member, friend, ex-boyfriend, or even yourself. Then I want you to write a letter to God and ask Him to romance you. Ask him to fill you with enough love that Valentines day can’t come quick enough. That you will celebrate the day of love and recognize that Jesus loved us so much that he died for us. That every time this day comes around we should feel and experience the love of God and love eachother.