I know many of you are probably wondering…what is the deal with Jess Marquez? I have had a few of my good friends ask me what it is I am doing. If I am super religious now? What was the change? What is the deal?
I guess it is kinda hard to explain other than, I am still the same Jess…I just really want to seek out Gods plan for my life.
I am probably just as confused about this whole thing as many of you are that have known me for awhile…and I am looking forward to exploring all of this together.
I explained it to my friend the other day when we were talking…and I guess I will share what I told her. It is my most HONEST answer about what is going on right now.
“I wanted to meet up because I wanted to
talk to you about what Im doing. Why I HAVE to ask for money. Trust me,
this is the last thing I want to do. I hate asking for money, even from
my parents. I have worked since I was 13…and always have paid for
things myself. Asking people for money SUCKS…but to accomplish what I
believe in so strongly I HAVE TO ASK. I Have to invite people to join
me in what I am about to do. I am terrified and scared to leave. I hate
nature and I really really enjoy my life right now.
I am using every tiny bit of
strength to do what I am about to do. I am grieving giving up all my
stuff, leaving my job, my friends, family…and partying. Its really
really hard for me and thats why I am asking for support. Even if its
just encouraging words, I need to know that people have my back. I literally
couldn’t take any more challenges.
talk to you about what Im doing. Why I HAVE to ask for money. Trust me,
this is the last thing I want to do. I hate asking for money, even from
my parents. I have worked since I was 13…and always have paid for
things myself. Asking people for money SUCKS…but to accomplish what I
believe in so strongly I HAVE TO ASK. I Have to invite people to join
me in what I am about to do. I am terrified and scared to leave. I hate
nature and I really really enjoy my life right now.
I am using every tiny bit of
strength to do what I am about to do. I am grieving giving up all my
stuff, leaving my job, my friends, family…and partying. Its really
really hard for me and thats why I am asking for support. Even if its
just encouraging words, I need to know that people have my back. I literally
couldn’t take any more challenges.
I
understand its not normal. Normal people dont sell Louis Vuitton
luggage to live out of a 70 liter back pack. I understand you probably
have no idea what is going through my mind. Trust me…its confusing
for me to. But instead of us not talking, lets talk more. I want you to
understand. I need you to support me. You are my friend and I want you
to be involved in my life this next year.”
understand its not normal. Normal people dont sell Louis Vuitton
luggage to live out of a 70 liter back pack. I understand you probably
have no idea what is going through my mind. Trust me…its confusing
for me to. But instead of us not talking, lets talk more. I want you to
understand. I need you to support me. You are my friend and I want you
to be involved in my life this next year.”
My friend Cristina said I should share that with you because it may answer some of your questions. Many of my blogs are filled with my hopes for the next year and what God is doing in my life. I often don’t write about how I really feel about it because it scares me. Im scared to face the fact that I am nervous. That raising $16,000 seems crazy. That watching miracles unfold before my eyes kinda freaks me out. That praying for people is a bit awkward for me.
But…I hope through my BRUTAL honesty…it helps you understand. Please question me, challenge me, and push me. Its at those moments where I am forced to believe that God is having me do this for a reason.
*Side Note: This blog was specifically created for those who do not understand the CHANGE in me. That for me to change the world, I myself had to be changed. Many of you already understand my dreams of helping and loving children, to seek out injustices such as Human Trafficking so I can help stop it, to bring hope to the hopeless and restore Joy.
My mother works with abused and neglected children as a lawyer for ACS. She continues to explain to me the POWER of TOUCH. That by nearly holding a child in your arms and telling them that YOU love them, and that GOD loves them…you teach them that they are not abandoned and can create a better life for themselves.
There is an article here that explains this further : http://didinnis.theworldrace.org/index.asp?filename=the-power-of-touch
You can also read more about what got me to the point to be willing to serve in other countries instead of from my home. To give up everything to be the hands and feet of Jesus : http://jessimarquez.theworldrace.org/?filename=how-i-was-called-to-the-mission-fieldrefg
