Holy moly. The time is flying by so quickly!

I leave for the World Race in just over two months! As my launch to Uganda quickly approaches, I am feeling both excited and scared. Until now, honestly, the World Race has felt like a far-off dream that seemed like it would never become reality, but the closer it gets, the more real it becomes. As the future nears, I feel both joy and sorrow. On one hand, this means that my dream is finally within reach! In contrast, I am realizing more and more how challenging the year is going to be – leaving the comforts of home, saying goodbye to friends and family, and being pushed constantly physically, emotionally and spiritually.
 
Since I officially committed to the race last March, there has been much to do to prepare in order to leave in January, including fundraising, buying all the necessary gear, learning how to pitch a tent (which I dutifully practiced in my living room), etc.
 
Here are some highlights from my preparation time so far:
  • I’ve obtained my new 60L pal, of which I will be living out of for the year (yet to be named, taking suggestions!)

  • Mailed out 100+ support letters and have successfully fundraised 40% of my total funds!


  • Joined an amazing workout group and have started training and getting physically fit to prepare for long hikes with lots of gear on my back and long days of physical labor!

 

Aside from the normal business of life and the occasional craziness of everything that is involved with preparing to leave the country for an entire year, this season has also offered me some sweet time to rest with the Lord and recenter on Him before embarking on my next adventure.

Something that I’ve been challenged to think about as I prepare are my intentions for the trip and my motivations for serving. Are my intentions to change people? Is serving only one-sided? What are potentially complicated dynamics I could encounter and how do I handle these?

A little back story: I’ve been passionate about service for as long as I can remember and I first felt called to international ministry about four years ago. Since then, I have teetered back and forth on how I am supposed to carry out that call. I started exploring different programs and ways of serving overseas until I started to become more aware of the ways that mission work can go wrong or be poorly carried out. These realizations really turned me off of international missions for a while, but, after working with some nonprofit groups while studying in Thailand, I felt even more compelled to serve and confident there were thoughtful ways to do so. I was so excited when I got accepted to the World Race, but my excitement was immediately coupled with feeling of anxiety and worry because this was a huge opportunity and I wanted to be sure that I was cautious and wise in my approach to serving.

For example, I love how excited people get when I tell them about the World Race. I have received an overwhelming amount of support and praise for the work I’ll be carrying out, but I’ve had to be mindful of how I receive the praise. People are shocked and awestruck by the sheer radical-ness of it all; people tell me how brave and strong they think I am, or how “saint-like” and good hearted I am, and what a big sacrifice I am making. Don’t get me wrong, I am so so grateful for everyone’s support, however, I’d be lying if I told you that I don’t love all of the affirmation and haven’t thought of myself as a better human because of it.

When I start to think of the trip as a sacrifice, or of myself as some saint descending upon these poor people, it shifts the focus behind serving to myself instead of God. Then, I start to think of myself as better or higher than those whom I will be serving and I completely lose sight of how those people can serve me.

Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber’s words in her book Accidental Saints have provided me with much needed clarity in response to these thoughts:

“We call this kind of thing “serving others” as though it’s an entirely selfless thing, but to tell the truth, I’ve never known how to keep from feeling self-important when I help people. Being the one who gets to serve is a position of power. No matter how selfless I’d like to think I am, there’s always something in it for me- even if it’s the satisfaction of knowing I am a good Matthew 25 Christian, that I am “being Christ” to someone else.” 
 
“It can be dangerous when we self-importantly place ourselves above the world, waiting to descend on those below so we can be the “blessing” they’ve been waiting for… Seeing myself or my church or my denomination as “the blessing” – like so many mission trips to help “those less fortunate than ourselves” – can easily descend into a blend of benevolence and paternalism. We can start to see the “poor” as supporting characters in a big story about how noble, selfless, and helpful we are.” 
 
“Christ comes not in the form of those who visit the imprisoned, but in the imprisoned being cared for. Christ comes to us in the needs of the poor and hungry, needs that are met by another so that the gleaming redemption of God might be known.” 
 
When I studied abroad in Thailand, I had the privilege of working with the Young Life group there. It was one of the most genuine and enlightening experiences of my life. There I was, expecting to work or help out in some way, and it was the complete opposite; they served me the entire time. They showered me with love, welcomed me into their homes, and truly embraced me as one of their own. As a result, I was richly and immensely blessed by the experience. They gave me a new appreciation for the simple things of life, taught me how to love better, and serve wholeheartedly.

I’ve also been challenged to recognize my privilege as a foreigner entering into these countries. First of all, I’m lucky to even be able to travel around the world, when so many other people cannot afford that luxury or may never get that opportunity. Second, all of the eleven countries that I will be going to are impoverished and struggling in some way. While I definitely won’t have the nicest of amenities on my trip, I know that I will never have to worry about having enough food to eat, water to drink or not having a roof over my head. This is huge, as a large majority of the countries’ populations unfortunately do not have access to any of that ever.

All this to say, I’m humbled in remembering that no matter how thoughtful or prepared I try to be, I will still make mistakes. I’m grateful for the people in my life who have challenged me to give thought to such topics, and for God’s grace in the times that I fail. My hope and prayer for my World Race is to ultimately seek God’s heart and purpose in all of my ministry and to serve with a humble and teachable spirit.

Will you join me in praying for these things that have been on my heart and for the demeanor my team and I will portray while serving on the field?

 

Thanks for reading!

xx

Jessi