This season of life is coming to a close in just 11 days. I never dreamed the day would come.
Eleven long months ago when we stepped on the plane leaving Atlanta, Georgia my only thought was what on earth did I get myself into? I’ve had that same thought many times through out this year: when I held a malnourished baby, when I was pulling countless rocks out of a river, when I had no way to communicate with my hosts, when I pulled endless amounts of weeds, when I was served goat intestines, when I had to use a squatty potty, when I held a little boy with HIV, when I spent 8 hours a day painting a day camp, when I sat in puddles of my own sweat, when I saw girls being bought off the streets, when I met a child neglected by her family, and when I sit in bed all day. What did I get myself into? I “got myself into” a relationship with the King, the redeemer, my Father.
On an island in Vietnam I ask God, why am I here? Why did you ask me to leave my life of comfort? And why the heck did I say yes?
“Because I love you”
Im sorry one more time I don’t think I heard you right, Jesus.
“Because I love you, Jesse”
Although this year was suppose to be about serving and spreading the Gospel (which it was) I think it was about me falling in love with the King. To fully and completely know and understand what it means to be a follower of Christ and to put it into action. Not to just feed the hungry, clothe the naked and heal the sick but to love one another as God loved us.
On this crazy adventure I fell in love time and time again. I fell in love with the children, the cultures, the scenery, the hosts, the ministries, the different ways of worship, and all my teammates. This is a family, through each step they have been by my side loving me, challenging me, pushing me outside of my comfort zone, allowing me to find myself and covering me with grace and patience through it all.
I even fell in love with myself. Weird thing to say I know but I did. Over these eleven months I feel as if I have found myself, I know who I am and what I want out of this life. I am a daughter of the most high King. I am beautifully and wonderfully made and I am His.
This year has had its challenges and its victories and with each step I hold Jesus’ hand tight and ask for guidance, this next step is no different. As I make this transition home I have no idea what I am doing or where I am going but I do know one thing, I will follow the journey that God has laid out before with my arms wide open to whatever he has for me.
Its not going to be easy, some days I will cry other days I will jump for joy that Im back in the states. The hardest part about closing this chapter of life is trusting God to reveal the next step to me. For these eleven months I have known what was in front of me, Haiti, Bolivia, Peru, Ecuador…I think you get it. When I get off that airplane in Seattle, Washington all I know is Ill be spending sometime with my family beyond that the doors are wide open and there are a lot to choose from. In time God will reveal the right one to walk through, but for now Im not going to think about it.
I’m going to enjoy these last 11 days, soaking up the little time I have left with my family here on the race. See you soon America!
