Its 10pm and I’m climbing the ladder to go on the roof to work out, iPhone and water bottle in hand. I reach the top and set my things down so I can have both hands free to finish getting to the top. In a blink of an eye my iPhone is face down on the cement, a few choice words slip out and I climb back down the ladder to check out the damage, my teammate got to it before I did, she picked it up and all that came from her was “oh no!’ thinking to myself alright its probable got a crack in it no big deal. She hands me the phone and it is shattered to the point I cant even touch the screen or I’ll have glass in my fingers. I double over in laughter, this is a joke, this can not be happening right now, there is no way that my phone is broken. Then the laughter turns to tears I go to my bedroom because I cant even function to make complete sentences and my team does not need to deal with me like that. I pull myself together after a short pity party, go out to the living room and ask for some ones iPhone so I can facetime my parents and tell them the news.
“So mom, remember that brand new iPhone that you sent me not even three whole months ago? You’ll be getting it back in the mail in a few weeks because I just shattered it” my moms response was to be expected “you have got to be kidding me” and my dads a little more colorful “aw baby girl, shit happens, oh well.” I hang up the phone having made the decision to not have them send out another phone.
I go back up to the roof because I think its time Papa and I had a little chat, I lay down remembering the prayer I prayed when I very first got accepted to the WR “God if you are calling me on this trip I want to be taken outside my comfort zone, I want to fully and completely rely on you for everything. A broken laptop, 2 stolen credit cards, and 2 broken iPhones later and Id say I’m there.
While I was praying I asked God if there was anything he wanted to tell me, he said “Jesse, I am proud of you, use this experience to glorify me, I love you and you’re doing a great job.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little, me doing a good job? I am 21 years old and was just crying over a broken iPhone! Then I felt someone holding my hands, and Jesus said “I am here for you and will be with you through this, rely on me!
One of my biggest challenges on the race has been relying on others for help, when my cards got stolen I had to rely on my teammates to get money out for me, when my computer and my phone were broken I had to rely on others to use theirs, finally just 3 months ago I got both new cards and a new phone but now I will have to relying on others in order to talk to home.
My brother has told me before “pick yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going.” I love this saying but this time I cant pick myself up, my God my Lord has to do that for me. This isn’t about a broken iPhone (although it may seem like it) this is about God reminding me that He has control over my life and I am just along for the ride, through troubles or triumphs I am called to glorify and honor Him, it’s a choice and I’m choosing in.
I’m excited for this new season of the race, I am excited to be fully dependent on my creator, I’m excited to see what He has in store for me, and most of all I’m excited to have no electronics left to break.
