I am NOT always wrong.
I believe this lie: I’m always wrong.
I’ve believed for so long that all I do is wrong and I’m never right. This lie goes so deep and is endlessly convoluted. It weaves itself into nearly every aspect of my life.
Socially, I can’t ever seem to do or say the “right” things. So I end up scaring people or offending people or hurting people or hurting myself. I end up judging others to be perfect and “put together” and I can’t seem to give myself grace. People are somehow 8 steps ahead of me and know how to manage living in the world, well, correctly.
This lie so isolates me. I feel alone much of the time because I’m rarely on the same page with people- especially people close to me that I, for some reason, still seek approval from. I feel worthless when I feel wrong, I feel alone, I feel stupid- I want to go hide. I feel shameful.
I’ve convinced myself, at times, that I am socially inept or that I need to be diagnosed with some social deficiency. I’ve convinced myself that I’m unable to enjoy genuine friendship and community. I’ve convinced myself that I can’t communicate effectively at all.
Lies. Although I may have work to do on the fronts of communication and emotional health, I am not always wrong. I am funny and I love people really well and I seek the Lord with honesty and vulnerability.
I will continue to place my identity firmly in who Christ says I am, not in the lies that are not from Him.
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God, help me to stand on Your truths, which are forever True and Right and Pure and Lovely. I don’t want to be or feel alone anymore. I want to be surrounded by Your love and accept the care that my community of believers are extending.
Not the same is not always wrong, it’s just different.
Lord, I desire Your wisdom. I don’t need to be like Solomon, But I do desire a discerning heart and a mind of wisdom. I seek You with my heart and my mind- create them pure and new within me.
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As I take a look at the life of Jesus, it gives me hope. Jesus was very rarely “right”. He did everything backwards and upside down. He loved the sinners and ate with them, He yelled at the fake spiritual leaders. The people were looking for a king and He came to be a servant.
I will be transformed by the word of God. His Spirit keeps molding, challenging and growing me more into the likeness of my Savior.
“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
