So I haven’t written a blog in a while and that’s just no bueno so I’ve decided to write this one. Besides, I need the practice. Writing about yourself and your life and posting it up for others to read, well….. It’s weird. But here’s what’s been going on with me recently.
Not much. And that is a HUGE problem. Just a couple weeks ago I got accept into the Race and I was SO stoked! My mind was racing with possibilities and plans of what-if’s and how-to’s. I was eager to get this rolling. I started writing blogs, researching things, contacting people here and there, telling others about the mission trip. I was going to make this happen.
Then in typical Jeremy fashion I began to get distracted and realize how huge this task would be to accomplish and realized that I can’t do this. There’s no way. Let me just pack up a tent and sleeping bag and hike around the world for a year to visit the poorest, sickest, neediest people and places in the world and live with them, help them, and spread the gospel to them. I feel uncomfortable here in the U.S trying to share Jesus with people as it is and heaven help me if I have to stand in front of a crowd to do anything much less preach or pray. What on earth was I thinking? I CAN’T do this.
I really can’t. I can’t raise $16,200 or make the multitude of things happen that will make this possible. I can’t travel the world. I can’t heal people. I can’t speak to people’s hearts. I’m weak and don’t have the power to do these things. But God does. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9. That’s a relief because I am weak. I need more help than I can voice and I thank God that He can provide me with strength.
Just a few weeks ago I was walking around speaking scripture out loud into my life, voicing God’s promises to me. And life was awesome. Lately though, I’ve been silently hoping things just fall into place. I’m done with that. I’m giving up. It’s time to let go and let God. Let Him do what he has promised me he will do. I’m going to trust in His promises and rely on him wholeheartedly. I’m laying down my control, my fears, expectations, and ambitions at the foot of the cross and God is going to show me His way and it’s going to be hard, it’s going to suck at times and it may hurt, but I know that in the midst of it I will have a peace that passes all understanding and it will be the most amazing time of my life and I will love it and want nothing more.
“…If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” Matthew 16:24-26.
I’m leaving my comfortable home and bed, my friends and family, my blessed AC and heat and I’m going to step into the uncomfortable and weird, the unknown. And it kinda freaks me out, but a friend once told me “Step out of your comfort zone and into your purpose”. So I’m going, knowing that God is preparing the path before me and trusting that He knows exactly what He’s doing. I’ve seen a little saying floating around and I think I like it. It gives me a little more confidence every time I read it. “God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.” He knows my heart and how much of a mess I am, but He still calls me to this because I am EXACTLY who he needs for this. Maybe eventually I’ll understand that but for now… It’s a mystery to me.
If you’d like to help me out and be a part of this amazing ministry and work that God is doing overseas just click the “Support me!” link at the top of the screen. I have a ways to go and no amount is too small!! I need $3,500 by May 3, 2014. For anyone that’s already given, Thank you so much! I will never be able to thank you enough!! Thanks for reading and God bless!
