I have never realized the Bible as a love story.
Throughout my life God has seemed more of a shrewd manager who excels in micromanagement. The instructions He doles out, I have obeyed in task form, often afraid that I will miss a deadline. But lately, something else is becoming evident to me.
I was in Rite-Aid about an hour ago looking at the 50% off Christmas cards. The ones that caught my eye briefly told the Christmas story in poetic form:
A bright star…A Tiny Manger… Three shepherds from afar… etc etc.
(
not an accurate quote – I left the cards in the car!)
On the inside flap, the card makes it clear that all these things happened because of God’s
Love.
I started praying for a new heart about a year and a half ago. I haven’t had heart-problems medically, but spiritually. It seemed to me that my heart needed some definite changing over by the hands of Love. It had grown hard in many areas, didn’t quite know what to long for anymore and had forgotten its reason for hope. So I prayed like in Ezekiel 36 that God would
“give [me] a new heart and put a new spirit in [me]; [He] will remove from [me, my]heart of stone and give [me] a heart of flesh. And [He] would put [His] Spirit in [me] and move [me] to follow [His] decrees and be careful to keep [His] laws. Ezekiel 36:26-27
Now I see that being fulfilled, but not in ways I had expected (of course!) Instead of just giving me a heart transplant, trading out the old rebellious muscle for a new obedient one, God is taking me through a process in which He is steadily revealing His love. I’m learning slowly to see love behind His planned actions. He often presents me with situations that I would rather hide from, because it hurts to go through them.
But when I do obey, the crack in my heart of stone widens, opening itself up to Love… and joy ensues.
These past couple of months I have been preparing physically for this World Race. I have shopped for gear, taken care of Doctor’s appointments and signed a dozen required papers,
but
it is God who has done all the work. He has allowed me to see that the
pain I have endured is actually quite beautiful; that the Hands at work
behind it have been weaving this masterpiece all along. While I have
struggled in my groaning flesh, He has sung over me
.
I imagine a pregnant mother, humming and knitting while she rocks back
and forth in her rocking chair. Meanwhile her child grows within,
anxious for the day he can break free. His nature is to fret, but the
soft humming from his mother quiets the turmoil.
That’s like me and Jesus. I am the anxious child within and He is the
peaceful mother. He knows my time will come soon enough and so He sits,
humming His all-knowing song of peace, steadily rocking back-and-forth, working away on His beautiful
masterpiece.
